Taeyeon stands in front of her mirror after having a long hot bath. She looks at her reflection; her expressionless face slightly flushed from the warm bath, her hands brushing on her long black hair. Taeyeon used to hate looking at mirrors. Somehow it reminds her of the past; things that she doesn’t want to remember, ever. It reminds her of how she looked a few years back: puffy lifeless eyes, tear stains on her cheeks, paler skin (as if her skin is not pale enough), and hunched shoulders. She looked like crap, and it showed how broken she was inside.
Still, she remembers every second of it; when she walked inside the quiet apartment a little after midnight, thinking maybe her beautiful eye-smiling girlfriend was already asleep. She was dead tired, and longing for a quick shower before cuddling Tiffany to sleep. But when she walked into their shared bedroom, what she saw stunned her.
The first thing she saw was Tiffany’s back, moving up and down on the bed. She was moaning in ecstasy, oblivious that her girlfriend stood under the door frame. Once Taeyeon flicked on the light switch, she saw that Tiffany was actually ‘riding’ an unknown man. A man, on the very bed they used to make love in, in a room where sweet loving words were exchanged between them as they giggle and cuddle to sleep. Taeyeon was too shocked to even react at the scene in front of her, and so did Tiffany. She felt her world spun slower than the usual, and she faintly heard her American-born girlfriend saying her name many times, followed by ‘I can explain this, Taetae’ a few times more.
Nevertheless, Taeyeon turned on her heel, yanked herself out of Tiffany and her pleadings, and jumped into a cab to go to her dorm she shared with her other fellow members. In the taxi, Taeyeon could still hear Tiffany’s erotic moans, the way her skin glistened with sweat and her lips slightly swollen. She knew at that moment she was supposed to be angry, sad, or anything really, but she couldn’t.
When her taxi arrived in front of her building, Taeyeon just stood there for a few minutes, then slowly walking away in silence. She walked around lifelessly and ended up in Sunny’s porch. When Taeyeon saw the shorter girl opened her front door, she began tearing up silently. And as if Sunny disabled her self-defense mechanism – which had been activated when she saw Tiffany on their bed – she blacked out from then on. She didn’t remember much; only a pajama-clad Sunny faintly repeatedly asking what happened and woke up the next morning in her tight embrace.
In a few weeks after that incident, Taeyeon decided to start fresh. She moved out of her shared apartment with Tiffany and rented a room for herself near her dorm, which Sunny more than often visited and spent the night in. Sunny even brought her game consoles there to play with Taeyeon, which the latter happily approved, being a gamer herself. Some nights Taeyeon would just look at Sunny playing her adventure game with a serious look on her face; her lips pursed, slightly scrunched up eyebrows, and eyes fixed on the television.
After a couple months she spent with Sunny, Taeyeon realized that she became an important part of her life. She got used with Sunny’s way of approaching her when she’s miserable, by leaving her alone. She would just rub Taeyeon’s cheeks to comfort her, with no questions asked. She’s keeping her distance from Taeyeon, but keeps her arms open in case Taeyeon falls down. Taeyeon had been clinging for Sunny for her dear life, and didn’t plan on the younger girl leaving her side, ever. One night she found herself hugging Sunny from behind while she was playing, silenced her questions with a kiss, and asked her to move in permanently. Sunny just nodded shyly, and gave her a chaste kiss on her cheek.
It has been three years since then. Taeyeon stares at the mirror in front of her, glances to the left at photos of Sunny and herself in various events and occasions, and lingers in a photo of Sunny kissing her while she’s sleeping. She sighed in content, stroking the photo with her index finger. Taeyeon stares once more at her reflection on the mirror and smiles, happy with how she looks.
