Google (a comedy)

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luke

"Uh I-I um," I stuttered, and heard a laugh.

"Hey, baby. When and where?"

So it wasn't an automated message, the cheeky bastard. Ashton's voice was thickly accented, his laugh more of a giggle. It was adorable. "My, my. First timer, are we? Don't worry, love. I'll make it worth your while. You might even have to call me back." I blushed and it traveled down my chest, stopping under neath my moobs. Man-boobs. Pecs. Whatever.

"Oh, uh I wasn't- I didn't mean- I saw you on Google and- this is coming out wrong."

How the fuck do you explain to someone you saw them on Google Images??

God help me. 

"Google? I was that irresistible you had to Google me?"

"Um-"

"I'm just teasing, love. So, do you want to meet me somewhere? Just to warn you, I am a top."

"Um- Yeah. Where? Should we meet, I mean." I didn't want to have sex with the gorgeous boy. Well, obviously I did, I mean he's fucking fit, but I wanted a real relationship with him. Not just sex. 

"How about Four Seasons Hotel?"

"Okay. Yeah, I can do that." I was honestly a nervous wreck. My palms were sweaty as I wiped them on my bare thighs, and this chair was becoming dangerously uncomfortable. "See you then, sweetcheeks." The receiver clicked, signaling the end of the call, but I sat there in my chair with a painfully hard erection, blinking rapidly. I stood up, dropped my phone on the chair and walked to the bathroom.

~SMUTTY SMUT SMUT WHOOP IF YOU'RE UNDER THIRTEEN YOU SHOULD PROBABLY SKIP THIS I'LL PUT A THING WHEN IT'S OVER KAY

I wrapped a hand around myself as I step into the shower, wanting to wash away the sweat and sticky feel, and moan instantly at the contact. I start quickly jerking myself off, sexual frustration from the past few months finally being released, and spend extra time thumbing my slit, the pressure building my release even faster as the white-hot coil of pleasure built up in my stomach, signaling my orgasm. I came not long after that, spurting white, sticky come all over the shower wall and sighing contently. 

**GUESS WHAT NO MORE SMUT HA THAT RHYMES LAWL**

I decided to actually use the shower for its previous intent, rubbing shampoo into my scalp and practically purring at the feeling. I always loved someone running their hand through my hair. It calmed me down. I rinsed the shampoo out of my hair, cursing at the top of my lungs repeatedly as I got soap in my eye. The bathroom door burst open to reveal my lilac-haired best friend, Michael, looking at the shower door in concern. "You alright Lucas? You sound like you're dying." I pouted at him, though he couldn't see it through the distorted shower door, and grumbled, "Soap in my eye." Michael, of course, found this situation highly entertaining, and burst into fits of wild, uncontrollable laughter. 

"If you want to see my flaccid penor, I suggest you stay. If not, get the fuck out and go wake up Calum." Michael wiggled his eyebrows. "Maybe I want to see it." 

"Michael, get the fuck out of the bathroom and go wake up Calum." 

"Fine, fine. Have fun, dick boy." I snorted at his insult and finished up my shower as he left. My friends are unbearable. It surprises me how I handle them, too.