Can Broken Heart Beat Again

Prologue

"I'm sorry I haven't come to see you. I couldn't...but I have so much to tell you. So much I want to share with you," I said as I sit down in front of his grave. It is like I drained most of my energy just to come here. I wanted to come here, but I couldn't bring myself to do so. This place feels colder than our home, maybe cause I know that he is here and not here at the same time.

"You must be angry or hurt that I am not treating your sister well and I am falsely accusing her. I know that too, but this pain that your absence has brought, I can only handle it with anger and I don't want to be mad at you. It wasn't your fault; I know that even though a small part of me thinks that. I don't want to hate you and she seemed to be the next best option. I know that's unfair but..."

Initially, I just wanted to prove to me or everyone that every alpha is fucking the same. They don't care about anyone, no one matters to them except themselves. I wanted to see her abusing her power just like I have seen it happen my whole life. Maybe I needed as a reason to justify my anger and hatred toward her. But she didn't. She took everything, even when it was my fault, she apologized to me. She is making it hard for me to hate her, but I need to hold on to it a little longer, till I find something else as a reason to survive.

"You know how annoying your family is. They don't leave me alone, every night one of them would come to have dinner with me. And that ex-alpha, you told me about, I haven't seen him one bit. Instead of him found a doting father would seem to have adopted me as his daughter, even when I have hurt his real daughter so much. I have seen that strong alpha who had brought everyone down on their knees getting defeated by the hands of two little kids. Well, the devil would be more accurate for them. They know how to make their grandfather dance on their beats. You should see them, I bet you would be like that too," a tear dropped on my hand, you used to say that I am strong. But if I am strong then why can't I bear this pain. Why does it feel like increasing with every breath that I take? Why is it draining my energy just to stay here? You don't know what it's like to be here knowing you can't come back, that I can never have you back.

"She is not going to appoint anyone in your place, she said this title belongs to your family. She said that...I am also part of this family...your family. That means your family line does not end with you, it can continue with me. You know before meeting you I was no one, but now I am someone. And it's all because of you. Because of you, I had a family. The family was something that seemed unattainable in dreams, I thought I would be lucky if I got rejected by my mate, cause that would mean that I have a mate. I never in my wildest dream thought that my mate would accept me. After all, I was just a rogue and they are not accepted anywhere; every one hates them. But you fool, you didn't just accept a rogue like me you also gave me a family who loves me and accepted me that is so much more than what my biological family did for me."

"Today I wanted to tell you about my past, it's something I should have told you before, but...Anyway, where should I begin with," I paused to think from where I should begin, "Let's start from the very beginning. I was born in a small pack in the north, damn it has been so long that I don't even remember its name. or maybe the reason that I don't remember is the memories that came with it, memories I tried so hard to forget and shove them deep inside the part of my head that I won't ever look again. Anywho, so as I was telling you I was born in a small pack with my mom and dad. They were your ordinary omega who would get bossed around by the whole pack especially our alpha, whose only way of making himself feel strong was by exploiting weaker. And that were my parents, they had to work their asses off daily without a single word of appreciation and recognition for their hard work. They were never home, never having a single moment for themself or their family meaning me."

"Growing up, I was always alone. I didn't have friends who would want to be friends with omega and I also didn't have any family. So, I learned how to take care of myself, I think I started cooking for myself when I was 5 or 6 and it wasn't easy. I burned myself a lot and many times the things I cooked weren't edible. But I was okay I guess, I had food to eat well most of the time and I get to see my parents once or twice a week. Then things got worse when I started going pack school. Our pack had a rule, only the kids of higher-ups were allowed to go to school with humans. I didn't have any place to go nor did I had anyone. At school no one would even look at me, even teachers didn't pay any attention to me, the only attention I got was from my bullies, and God there were a lot of them. Things got to the point where I didn't have a single spot on my body that didn't have some wound or bruise. But that wasn't the worse thing, the worse thing was getting ignored by my parents. They never got much time to spend with each other but when they get, they would use to ignore me. No, ignore isn't the right word cause you cannot ignore someone who doesn't exist."

"Things went the same for a couple of years, I wasn't happy but content that it couldn't get worse. But like in movies whenever someone says those stupid words the whole world tries to prove them wrong, the same happened to me too. For some reason that I still couldn't comprehend, alpha condemned my mom to death. Mom and dad both begged him to change his verdict and give them another chance and guess what happened he killed them both on the spot and nobody even bat an eye. Everyone's life kept going like nothing happened like they didn't just lose two of their pack members. Nothing change for anyone except me, my whole world turned upside down and I realized that day, even though my parents barely spend time with me they were a huge part of my life. I lost my family and nobody in that damn pack cared. A 10 years old girl lost her whole family and nobody cared, nothing changed in the pack, it kept on going as nothing happened."

"Pack found their new target, someone new whom they could bully, me. The beating increased tremendously that I forgot the color of my skin and how it looked without all those bruises and wounds. They made me drop school for no good reason, it wasn't like I had to take over my parent's duty, no I just used to run errands whose whole purpose was to give them an excuse to beat the living shit out of me not that they need any reason to do that. There was no one to stop them. I bared with that because I thought if I leave this place I would have no place to go and the thought of being a rogue terrified me. I still have hope of finding my mate in the pack and the whole thing with my parents made me realize that no one would care for you in the way your mate would and I was so desperate to find mine that I took all the beating and abuse for three years. It took me three whole years to realize that even if I have my mate in this pack the chances of him accepting me would be none and after losing my family, I didn't have the strength to go through rejection. I decided to leave the pack and I did. I packed what little I had and left without looking back but my bad luck wasn't ready to leave me. I learned, why life outside the pack was hard. I had many encounters with other rogues and even with packs. And with every encounter, I had with other packs my hope of finding a mate vanished. I experienced how much packs hated rogue, to the point they would kill first and ask later. I gave all hope of finding my mate, especially one who would accept a rogue, but then you happened and made me question everything I believed."

"I didn't just come here to complain. I have some good news to tell you. We are going to be parents soon," I sniffled and took a deep breath, "You heard right, I am pregnant, we are going to have a baby. It's already been a month and a half. Maybe with this baby, my story would get a new chapter. But I'm scared. I don't know how to do this without you. I never had a good example of parents to look up to and I have failed everyone my whole life. I couldn't save my family and I couldn't save you, I just don't want to fail this baby. I wish you were here with me."