FRAGMENTS

SLUT II

She plasters a smile across her face and walks out. When a smile is on your face, no one suspects anything. She thinks about what happened, what would have happened had she not defended herself. For reasons unknown to her, she feels miserable, guilty. She is a slut, a whore, so she deserves to be treated like one. Right? He wasn't wrong. He just wanted to have fun. He was just treating her like she deserves to be tre-

She bumps into someone again, and this time she freezes, not looking up just yet. Memories of the incidence which happened just a few minutes ago pour back into her mind, and she closes her eyes. A shiver of fear runs through her. She can't have bumped into the same person for the second time.

"Are you alright, miss?" a deep voice asks her.

And she looks up. Not because the voice is a weird mixture of rough and smooth, calming her nerves like coffee on a stressed day. Not because his hand on her shoulder makes her feel warm, safe even. Not even because he asked her a question.

No, she looks up because of the question.

No one's really ever asked her how she is.

Looking up to see the darkest shade of caramel eyes looking at her with genuine worry and the kindest smile stretched across his lips, she can't help but feel dirty about herself.

She is a slut. Sluts don't deserve nice guys. She doesn't deserve shit.

Putting on her brave face, she smiles at him and replies, "Ya, I'm okay."

He doesn't look too convinced, but again, nothing about him is too convincing, concludes Amanda. She doesn't believe how his eyes haven't wandered down to her chest already. Or better, her whole body. She doesn't believe how he is still looking at her with concern despite the fact that she just gave him an answer, albeit a lie.

"Why is it that I don't believe you?" he asks.

Amanda frowns, "Even if I'm not okay, it's none of your business."

He lets out a small breath and puts his hands up in mock surrender, "Fine. Don't tell me just yet. Which class are you going to?"

And there it is, the subtle flirting. The good guys are the most dangerous ones. A wolf in sheep's clothing.

"Why should I tell you?"

He smiles again and chuckles, "You're a tough cookie. Fine, let me tell you the truth now. You look awfully disturbed. I want to help. I have experience with girls, having 2 sisters. I know when something is wrong. Let me help you today. If you want, after today we'll never meet again. We'll go separate paths, we won't even acknowledge each other in college. Sounds like a plan?"

Amanda looks at him flabbergasted. Is she that easy to read?

"Whoever you are, you're not my saviour. I don't need saving. So fuck off and mind your own business," her words are sharp, like her walls are lined with spikes, piercing everyone who dares to wander close.

He takes a small step back and smiles at her gently, "I'm not trying to be a hero. I'm trying to make you forget your issues for a day. It would've bothered me the entire day had I not said anything. It's human nature to help others grow. I'm sorry if you felt offended. I'll leave you to it then. Have a great day!"

She watches as he turns around and walks away. And just like that, her instincts take over, and her mouth opens, a shout on her lips.

"Wait!"

He pauses in his steps and turns around. There's a question in his eyes as he tries to understand the reason behind her call. Amanda walks to him and looks into his eyes, trying to detect any ulterior motive. But all she finds is a desperate wish for her to say yes.

She lets a small smile lip on her lips and nods.

"Alright. Let's do this. One day, that's all, okay?" Amanda says to him. His eyes lighten up in relief and excitement. Smiling, he extends his hand to her, urging her to place her hand in his. He feels terrified as the pretty yet broken girl in front of him takes a moment to think. He saw the pain in her eyes the minute she bumped into him. He doesn't know why he made the offer to her. He doesn't know what happened to the beautiful girl in front of him to make her lose all her spark. All he knew was his gut screaming at him, giving him desperate signals to do something. So he did.

She nods to herself and tentatively places her hand in his, and he quickly tightens his hold.

And in that second, he realises what his gut was trying to say. No, she doesn't need saving. She needs a friend. And that's what he's going to be for her. Even if she decides after this day ends that she wants no connection to him, he's still gonna be the best friend he can be to her in the twenty four hours ahead of him.

He's going to be her constant today. And if she allows it, he's going to be her constant forever.

Amanda looks at him as they both walk hand in hand out of college. The whispers are different this time. Still audible enough for her though.

Why is he holding the slut's hand?

Dude is going to get his heart broken.

She loosens her hold on his hand, but he holds on tighter.

"Ignore those idiots. Jesus, people have their own lives. Let them live it for god's sake. Honestly, if they're still gossiping in college, I need to know what their major is, because mine doesn't even allow me to breathe, let alone gossip. Not that I ever gossiped before, but I have definitely watched Gossip Girl. Perks of having two sisters, amirite? Anyway, tell me about you. What's your name?"

"Amanda," she replies amusedly.

He smiles before continuing, "Nice to meet you. I'm Jason, your guide and distraction for the day. Also, my sisters would love that skirt. Just saying."

This causes her to laugh on a day she didn't think laughing was possible, his mannerisms already making her forget about her inner demons. A warm feeling fills him when he hears her laugh, making him want to keep saying things that would get that reaction out of her. Amanda feels a warm feeling of her own filling her, the talk of his sisters reminding her of her own. She would love him, Amanda thinks. Looking back at him and down at their intertwined hands, she smiles to herself.

Even a slut deserves a break. And this is hers. 

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Slut-shaming is not cute. It never was and never will be. You cannot and shouldn't judge a person based on their sexual lifestyle. What kills me the most is that when guys do it, they're termed as playboys, becoming universal daddies of some sort. But the minute a girl decides to explore, BAMM, character gone.

I can't stress this enough but THIS IS YOUR LIFE AND YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO LIVE IT IN ANY WAY YOU WANT. Social norms don't define you, society sure as hell has no right to put you down either. When you call a girl a slut or a whore repeatedly, she starts believing it. She doesn't think she deserves a good life, a life filled with fun and experiences. And that, I think, is the saddest part of all this.

Anyway, rant over. The characters, if you've read TOON, might be familiar to you. So, this is like a small bonus as well as a (i think) meaningful short story. Let me know your feedback. 

Thank you so much for reading :)

Anya <3