Chapter 2

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Sometimes I stay up at night, thinking why my father turned out the way he did. I was trying to imagine the pain he must have felt when he understood that I was one of his most important responsibilities. He keeps his guard up constantly, with everyone, even with me. Nothing can touch his heart, the most common feeling he expresses is anger. The times that I've tried to mention her  he changes immediately. The usual anger turns to an indescribable infuriation and his green orbs turn into a dark shade.  The way he keeps his past away from everyone affects the relationships he has. He has forbidden Anne to even utter a word about his childhood and no matter how many times I ask her she doesn't tell me anything. My desperation of knowing him makes him stay away from me, emotionally. 

"Would you fancy some tea, my love?" My grandma's sweet voice brought me back to reality. I was lost in thought, trying to figure my father out. 
"Oh, yes please" I quickly replied while she gave me a heartwarming smile. I sat down on the comfy couch in the living room. I heard some faint tunes from the TV but my main focus was in my head. 
"What's going on, honey? I see that you've been caught up in your thoughts all morning" she asked me. Her voice was concerned and her eyes looked sad. 
"You won't give me any answers. It's pointless to tell anyone about my concerns" I said, my voice was stable. 
"It's about Harry isn't it?" she sighed and rubbed her temples. 
"I just want to know about my mum, how was she? Who was she?" I ranted while the emotions almost got the best of me, forming tears in my blue eyes. My grandma shook her head, for a second it seemed as she wanted to tell me. 
"Come on darling, it's in the past. Who cares yeah? You have an incredible father -" I cut her off. 
"Who cares? I care, more than anything. No one understands me. No one." I stand to my feet, my voice raising and tears streaming down my face. Before she was able to respond, I was out  on the streets. Walking in the heavy rain. I didn't know where I was going, but I was going away from there. 

The phone vibrated in my pocket for the 10th time, I decided to ignore it. I didn't care, whoever it was. I assumed that it was my grandmother, trying to figure out where I went. My phone kept vibrating and it was annoying me even more. When I finally picked the phone up I saw the name "Dad" spread across the screen. My heart skipped a beat or two. I was aware of the fact that he'll be beyond mad. He considers my behavior "disrespectful and uncalled for". With shaky hands I answered his call. 
"Where the hell are you?" he barked through the phone. I stayed quiet but his patience was running low "I asked you, where the hell you are?" he repeated the question. 

"I don't know" I honestly answered him which made him even more angry. 

"Name the street and I will pick you up" he coldly stated. As the minutes passed I felt nervous, I was scared of his reaction to my constant questioning about his past. Especially since I ran away from my grandmother's house. When the black Range Rover parked next to me, my heart was located in my throat. 

"What's the matter with you? Are you out of your mind?" his voice was loud, he was yelling. His hand gripped the steering wheel and his knuckles were turning white. He was beyond pissed off. 
"No, I'm just trying to figure my life out" I simply replied. 
"Let me guess, you were asking about your sad excuse of a mother? You better stop asking Carly, you will never know" his words cut like knives. 
"I deserve to know, I'm a part of her as well." I screamed at him, tears streaming down my face. A mixture of anger and pain were evident in his eyes. He bit his lip, hard. 
"Don't you dare say that again" he barked, his eyes had turned dark a long time ago. 
"I'm a part of her, dad!" I provoke. 
"You ungrateful little piece of shit." he screamed, on top of his lungs. I knew that I deserved it, but it didn't soothe the pain in my chest. I was sobbing in the passenger seat next to him, his words hurt but the fact that I'll never be able to hear the truth from him breaks me. 




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