Defaced

The Audacity

          I stare at my professor attentively as the lecture continues, making sure to jot down all the notes I can. I'm not worried about missing anything because that's what my audio recorder is for. I'll just go back to my apartment and re-listen to the lecture in order to add whatever I must to my notes. My eyes wander around the classroom and I see a number of students with blank faces, either on their phones or daydreaming. It baffles me as to why anyone would bother to come to college just to waste time and flunk their classes, a waste of money. Of course some of these students are here solely because their parents paid every dime. Imagine being lucky enough to waste an opportunity like free college.

         I sound so bitter, it's probably just my jealousy for their carefree lives. I struggle financially to pay for my classes along with rent. On top of that I have to stay on top of my classes, and clean the entire apartment since my roommate is somewhat incompetent. Working countless hours just to scrounge up enough to barely cover my expenses isn't how I saw myself spending my youth. Not to mention the loan I've had to take out in order to pay for school because FAFSA is all but useful. So yes I would say I am a tad jealous of my fellow students who are lucky enough to have everything handed to them.

          "Elara will you please tell the class what the theme to Shakespeare's sonnet 18 is?" My professor questions. His question pulls me from my thoughts, making me feel like a hypocrite for judging my classmates attentive skills.

          "I believe that the theme is endless love, in the poem Shakespeare is praising his lover's beauty and saying how his love, along with her beauty will be immortalized in his writing. While they will both eventually die his writing will live on. Continuously reminding the world of her beauty and how much he loved her." My voice is steady since I am confident in my answer. I analyzed Shakespeare's sonnets in high school and am somewhat surprised they are still relevant in a college classroom.

          "Very well spoken Ms. Hearst, you always give delightful answers." He praises me making my pride soar. I don't need the handouts my fellow students have received from their parents. Not that there's anything wrong with them having the opportunities they have. I just enjoy taking pride in myself and my ability to work hard for everything that I have.

          "Hey, Mr. Lauder no disrespect to our class prodigy, but I don't agree with her answer at all." The words cut through me like shrapnel, and they're coming from none other than Kai Astor. 

         I don't know what makes him think he can question my answer, he hardly ever shows up to class and almost never pays attention. Yet here he is with that smug look on his face. I'm stunned as he turns his head to me and smiles that cunning smile he has. The audacity he has is astounding, to even look in my direction after blatantly disregarding my answer. He isn't even offering a reason as to why he disagrees. I hear Mr. Lauder clear his throat and hope deep down that this boy is about to embarrass himself as our professor begins to speak.

         "Well Mr. Astor that is quite a statement to make, I hope you can back it up with some reasoning." He questions Kai. I snap my head towards that asshole to see him maintaining his composure.

         "First of all Shakespeare never says he's in love with a woman. In all of the previous sonnets he is addressing a man. Who's to say he isn't referring to a man in this sonnet? Also the way he is describing the love he has for this person in sonnet 18 seems like he is not actually with them. It's more like he's describing a love he can never quite have. Which further supports my theory that Shakespeare was indeed in love with a man he could not have. That's why in the previous sonnets he is telling the man to get married and have babies. He wants to be rejected so he can move on already." He finishes his sentence confidently turning his gaze to me with pride in his eyes. Our professor looks stunned before he opens his mouth to speak.