The Last Petal

Part 1

Author's Note: Here is the result of my angsty thoughts about Jiang Cheng at 2am.

Jiang Cheng was alone. The realization had hit him with full force that night when he returned back to Lotus Pier. Home had never felt so empty. His sister was dead. His brother had fallen off the cliff. And Jiang Cheng did not know if he was alive or dead. If anyone could survive that fall, it would be Wei WuXian. After all, hadn't he come back after being thrown into the Burial Mounds?

As he had prepared the ancestral tablet for Jiang Yanli, his fingers lingered over the other blank one next to him, the brush and ink untouched next to it. All those feelings of anger mixed with grief were building up inside his chest again, his fingers trembling. He had not set up an ancestral tablet for Wei WuXian that night. Not because he was no longer part of the clan, but because somewhere inside, Jiang Cheng believed his brother was alive. That he would come back.

When he had gone down to the bottom of the cliff, he had expected to find his brother injured but alive. His brother had always been a strong cultivator, he had thought. That fall wouldn't have been enough to kill him. Instead, all he found was a scratched up flute. ChenQing. He had reached for it, expecting it to burn his fingers, shunning the touch of anyone but the owner himself, but nothing had happened. He had been able to pick it up and tuck it into his robes silently. The other clans had already raided the Burial Mounds for his brother's other possessions, such as his talismans and his sword, Suibian. Everything left of his brother had been taken from him. Everything except for ChenQing.

After his sister's funeral. After the cultivation world had praised him for killing the 'evil Yiling Patriarch'. For killing his own brother. He couldn't say anything to those who praised him directly. He only felt a mixture of shame, anger, grief, and frustration. Feelings he constantly kept bundled up inside. Feelings that would only cause more turmoil for the next sixteen years.

He had not wanted to do it. He had tried to tell himself that jamming the sword into the cliff's edge had only been an action done out of brief anger and grief. He had not expected Wei WuXian to rip his grip from Lan Wangji's, causing him to fall down the cliff. He had not expected their sister's sacrifice for her A-Xian to be in vain. That Wei WuXian would end up dead despite of it. That he would be the one who tarnished that sacrifice.

He did not want to be known as someone who had killed his own sibling especially after the other one had died to protect him. Yet he could not bring himself to correct them either. He had to live with it. For the next sixteen years, he had to live with it.

~

Lotus Pier was never the same. It had a cold aura to it, despite the occasional shouts of joy from the younger disciples. To Jiang Cheng, it felt like an empty shell of the home he had grown up in. The distant laughter of Wei WuXian and his sister's gentle voice was nothing more than echoes of the past now. The only thing that filled the empty space was his nephew's presence at night as he climbed into bed with him after having a nightmare.

~

Sixteen years later (after the events of Guanyin Temple)

Wei WuXian was alive now. He was alive, yet Jiang Cheng still felt alone. Wei WuXian was living happily at Cloud Recesses with Lan Wangji. He had a son and he had the rest of the Lan Sect disciples following him like ducklings with their mom. Even Jin Ling often spent his time with Sizhui, Jingyi and Zizhen on his night-hunts with Wei WuXian.

Jiang Cheng had really wanted to speak with Wei WuXian, but every time he walked towards Caiyi Town, his feet had never led him towards the mountain path of Cloud Recesses. After all, what could he possibly say to him? That he wanted him to go back to Lotus Pier? No...after all, he was happy with his husband at Cloud Recesses. The harsh words he had spoken to Wei WuXian still lingered in his mind. His father had always told him he should never speak certain words out of anger, yet he had done just that. He had done that in front of the ancestral hall.

Even after being clan leader for so long...I still don't understand the motto of the clan. He had thought bitterly. And it was possible his father's spirit had even witnessed that.

After sixteen years of raising Jin Ling, after spending so many years with nobody to talk to, the feelings of grief had almost been dissolved by anger and resentment. And those feelings had only grown after his brother had been resurrected. There had been too many unspoken words and feelings between them. Words he couldn't bring himself to say. And there had been words he never should have said.

~

"Jiujiu, are you really not going to speak with him ever again?" Jin Ling had asked him one day.

"What can I possibly say?" Jiang Cheng replied back, irritated.

"You wanted to say something to him that day that Guanyin Temple!"

"I had nothing to say," Jiang Cheng said coldly.

"Nonsense! Jiujiu, you're denying it again. I know you had something to say!" Jiang Cheng stood up abruptly from the table and left Lotus Pier.

An hour late, he found himself staring up from the mountain of Cloud Recesses. He was only a few steps away from the main gate, but still out of view. What am I doing? This isn't going to work.

Someone is coming closer. He can hear a familiar voice. Calling his name.

"Jiang Cheng, I know you're there," There was a hint of surprise and uncertainty in Wei WuXian's voice.

"Of course you did," Jiang Cheng muttered under his breath, finally coming out of his hiding place, refusing to look up from the ground.

"I know because Jin Ling told me. He sent me a message." Jiang Cheng clenched his hands in annoyance. That brat! I will break his legs when I get back to Lotus Pier.

When he finally looked up, he can see Wei WuXian was not wearing his usual black and red attire. Instead, he was wearing the white robes of the Lan Sect.

A memory flashed into Jiang Cheng's mind. Of him, Wei WuXian and Nie Huaisang drinking together and laughing. A time when they were happy. When they were brothers.

For a while there was silence. Then Jiang Cheng found his voice.

"You've...been well?"

"Yes," Wei WuXian's voice was quiet.

"Let's find someplace to talk," Jiang Cheng's voice had grown unexpectedly strong. Wei WuXian only nods quietly.

"We agreed to leave it in the past....do you think we really can?" Wei WuXian's question took him by surprise.

"No," He answered honestly. "But we can start a new future."

"A...fresh start...," Wei WuXian murmured. Jiang Cheng heard the longing in his voice, but the uncertainty was still there.

"We can do it. It will take time, but...we should do it. For...our sister...and for ourselves too," Jiang Cheng said slowly.

Wei WuXian finally looked over at him, his eyes shiny.

"I'd like that."