You probably have a good grasp of what it's like mentally to be transgender. y'know the whole brain being like "yo dis wrong dude" and your like "huh guess your right". (Wow this chapter is way less poetic huh) but physically it hurts. Like it hurts my chest to look at it. Weird i don't know is that just me. Being trans also has its mental illnesses so maybe it's part of my depression or some side effect of a hyper anxiety. All i know is my head starts to hurt when i look at myself. And the most awkward position i think a person can be in is when you get out of the shower your mirror cover with a spare towel and then someone walks in as your walking out. Then they look at the now covered mirror and just give you those eyes. Are they eyes of judgment? Concern? Or maybe disgust? What is it i cant pinpoint it. This has only ever happened a few times to me. Probably because most times i just don't shower. Its harder then you'd think, most days i lay in bed binder off to the side in case it gets to hard. I lay there watching twitch or sometimes just staring at the wall head blank. Other times im sat rocking back in forth on my bed in the middle of the night while listening to the "public void" playlist on spotify. Im much to scared of a reaction id have if i played something like rabels in the village. The first cords are a g string for me and can send me into a panic. It's so weird that something that used to comfort me even before i was out is now something that can be used as a weakness to me. Anyways Im rambling.
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The struggles of a transgender male
Poetrythese are some struggles that i myself and other trans masc people that i know face. I know this will be repeatable for a lot of trans people who read this and if it doesn't feel relatable for you as a trans person that doesn't make you any less val...