Lemon

    **PLEASE NOT THAT THIS IS EXTREMELY BAD AND CRINGEY AND SHIT BC I AM A SHITTY WRITER AHHAHAHAHA YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED :D**

                        12.30.2020

It was almost New Years' Eve. Today, it would've been your 4th anniversary with him. Your face broke into a tiny smile. Although he wasn't here with you, you decided that at least that you pay him a visit.

The weather forecast today had already said there would be a slight chance of rain, so on the way you had grabbed your coat and umbrella.

The streets seemed almost empty, with the slight hums of kitchens buzzing.

A few cars passed by you as you walked, chilling every bone to the core.

Your hands felt cold. You could feel them starting to go numb.

And then it starts to rain.

Raindrops splattering all about, drenching, and sucking the mere life out of insects.

It felt like heavy tears were being rained upon you. And time slowed.

You see children playing in the rain. The sound of water splashing fills your ears.

Those were lovely memories you think. And your eyes look down.

You then remember that if you kept walking and slowing down like this, you'll never make it in time. They'll be closing soon.

You rush through the streets, not even stopping at walk signs. The rain falling down onto your face, turns cold.

You stop.

Your head turns towards the sky.

It's snowing.

The specks of snow landing on you stay cold.

They don't melt.

You snap out of your thoughts again, and continue running.

The gates were close.

It was 3pm.

The gates closed at 5.

You had enough time.

You slowed and walked to the entrance.

Looming above the gates were the words "CEMETARY".

You had arrived.

________________________________________________________________________________

You trudge through the grounds of the cemetery. The despair of the dead holds tight onto you, wanting to not let go.

Your pulse quickens. Your heart rate skyrockets for a mere second, and drops back to normal.

The single flower lay there. It had been your only gift to him during the funeral.

You knew that he wouldn't like anything extraordinary. After all, he did love you the way you were and never judged you.

You squat down. Your fingertips graze the stony edge of the gravestone.

"I'm here, Oikawa" you say softly.

Tears begin to well up and streak down your face. Emotions collapse along within the tears.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry I didn't visit you for the past 4 years.."

"I'm sorry that you had to sacrifice yours before mine."

"And...I wish that.."

"All of this...would just be a dream. And how grateful I would be if it was"

You hug the gravestone. Tightly. And begin to speak again.

"I still see you, Tooru."

"I see you within my dreams"

"It was you who taught me the beautifulness of happiness. Bliss."

"But In the end, I couldn't do anything for you"

Your lips tremble at that sentence.

"The past that I had, you were the only one to understand it. To understand..me."

"And without you, I would've stayed in the shadows my whole life.."

"But the pain now..it feels worse. Getting hurt like this. Pain in this form..it shouldn't exist"

Your arms loosen from the gravestone.

"Within my darkness..I saw you."

"And I still remember it."

"The outlines of your back, your chin, your face, your hands. Everything."

"And I can't make myself stop from taking it all in, each time we met."

"My tears...are the only thing that won't stop flowing"

Your hands grasp the ground. Fingers curling around dirt. You tilt your head up.

"But..you must be somewhere happy now, aren't you?"

"Do you miss me too?"

"Oikawa, if you're lost in loneliness, lost in tears, lost in thought, please.."

"Forget about me."

"Please..I'm praying from the bottom of my heart. This is my final wish from you."

"Although..that won't stop me from missing you"

You smile a bit. It was the first time you had been unfair with Oikawa.

"I- I was in love with you..more than I thought"

"To the extent that I couldn't breathe, despite being with you often."

"And if one things certain, it feels almost like a lie. A lie that I can't forget"

Truly it was. All the times of sadness and despair, happiness and love, and pain. He spent it all with you. They were times of our weakest and strongest moments. But together with you, I loved all of it.

The scent of bitter lemons won't leave my chest. I won't go until the rain stops.

Just like the fragments of a broken mirror, they still shine.

You look at the time. It was 4:55

The gates would be closing soon.

You start to panic, thinking that you won't make it to the gates.

But then, you hear a voice whisper in your ear.

"Don't worry Y/N"

"It'll be alright. Calm down and take a few breaths. Just remember, I'll always love you."

You feel warm arms grasp around you, engulfing into a big warm hug. It felt as if sunshine was wrapped around you.

You turn around.

Nothing was there.

You smile a bit.

"Even now Oikawa, you're still my guiding light."

End

**A/N**

           helloooooooooooooooooooooo ahahhahaha im so sorry if this was bad bc it is eheheheh~

you had been warned since the beginning

but ty for reading my crappy shit :p

luv u =3=