sander sides-one shots-roman angst

Panic attack pt:1

Trigger warning: roman angst/ roman centric, panic attack,  slightly unsympathetic light sides?, crying, insecurity, no no words/ words like: ugly stupid slut narcissist, !suicidal thoughts!

Ship: Logan x virgil x roman 

Tell me if I missed some

Probably some missed spelled words 

Romans pov:

I stand there looking like a star , we were recording for a video that day. I just stood there most of the time, I talked here and there, but I would get talked over. It was normal. This is normal. Nothing's wrong... At least nothing should be wrong... 

So then why? why am I feeling like this??  I shouldn't feel bad I'm not supposed to..

"roman_____ kiddo______ ROMAN!!" I jumped and looked at Patton who was calling my name "yes pat?" I say with my regular.. annoying.. voice.

"Oh kiddo you scared me for a second" patton chuckled when saying that. " He was probably off in wonderland or something" virgil said. He was right. I need to focus.

"Well then now that we have your full attention. I would like for you to make a new script" I looked towards logan who said that. " Well what's wrong with the one i gave you???" "Virgil and Thomas don't like it, you would know if you were paying attention". That felt like a knife right through my chest.

 " Ok I'll get to it, one script coming up!!!" I do my regular pose and sink out. I could see their expressions logan and virgil annoyed, patton smiling, and Thomas he looked sad I don't know why. Maybe we'll make a new video and find out that patton is still sad, or logan has emotions, maybe virgil will have a panic attack. Who knows... Maybe..just maybe... it'll be about me. 

I rise up into my room and close my eyes to think.

Heh probably not, one time I told them that the video was about me. They laughed, I didn't understand maybe it was that I'm to dumb to understand

Maybe I am an ego centric person who doesn't understand stuff maybe I am annoying. No. I am a narcissist I'm annoying I'm fake I'm dumb I'm ugly imperfect

I can feel myself shaking. I open my eyes and I'm on the floor hands over my ears. Mouth shut tight. And a blurry vision... What's going on? Why am I shaking? I'm crying? Why tho? 

Everything starts getting blurrier, I can hear voices saying stuff "ugly" "stupid" "slut" "narcissist" "just die they won't miss you anyways." Should I listen to them? 

I don't know what to do its getting harder to breathe. What's going on?? Am I? No I cant I'm not anxiety I-I i cant 

Pattons pov: 

After roman left virgil did to. It made me sad I miss my two kiddos unu. Oh right this is a pov- Thomas, logan and I were just in the living room. We were making a list of stuff we can do for the next Sanders asides, then give it to roman! 

10 minutes later-

"Uh"..."guys" "I-I cant breathe" Thomas said with a shakey voice. He fell on the ground and I rushed towards him. "Kiddo breathe  logan go calm down virgil!!!" "Of- ofcourse!" Then logan left. 

Logan's pov:

I rushed to virgil's room knocked a few time letting him know that im going in. I walk in and start telling him the breathing exercise. To my surprise all I saw was virgil looking at me weirdly. " uh- why are you telling me this?" Virgil said with a hesitant voice. "Wait so your not having a panic attack?!?" I was surprised if he is not then- " someone's having a panic attack..." I could see virgil's face it was shocked he looked even more paler if that was possible. 

"Then who is" he said like he just saw a ghost.

Tbc- 

Thanks for reading!! Let me know if I missed a trigger warning! Sorry if it's bad never done this before-

Word count  666