LOVING MUNA[COMPLETED]

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TRAVIS
<~EDITED~>

"Your dad is a tough guy to beat. He's got the Russian mafia to back him up" Ivan said,sounding irritated.

"What are you trying to say?" I asked angrily.

"... we'll have to wait a little while longer. If I can get a deal with them..." he said thoughtfully.

"I can't wait any longer Ivan!" I snapped.

"It's been a month since I last heard anything from her and I'm loosing my mind right now!" I tugged at my hair in frustration.

"Then what the heck do you want me to do?!" He snapped back. "You should be fucking glad I'm helping your ass right now"

I sighed tiredly.

"Can I at least talk to her? Just to hear her voice please? I need to know how our baby's doing" I begged.

He gave me a look I already knew and i felt like fainting.

"You know you can't. It'll jeopardize the plans. Except you want her dead"

"I know" I took a seat and ran my hands down my face.

"I haven't had enough sleep these nights. What if.....what if he killed her?" My vioce cracked as i thought the worst.

"He didn't. I got my men watching her don't worry" He assured.

I closed my eyes, taking a deep calming breath.

"Man why don't you go home,take a shower and maybe shave a little? You look like a caveman" he chuckled softly.

I smiled half-heartedly.

"Ok"

I got home that night more tired than I've ever been. I hated my dad more for doing this to me.

MONA

"Why would he do this to me!" I cried on my Mom's knees.

I had called her to come over. My chest hurt....like I couldn't breathe. It felt like my heart had been completely ripped out of my chest. I didn't like it. I didn't like it one bit.

I really did think he loved me and now I love him.

"Maybe it's a misunderstanding?" Mom suggested as she sighed in exasperation.

I raised my head to look at her in disbelief.

"I saw their picture mom. They were smiling and seemingly looked.....happy.and I'm pretty sure she was pregnant" I spat.

I wiped my snot with my handkerchief before standing up from my position on the floor.

"I'm done crying. I don't need him. I can do this by myself" I said mostly trying to convince my own heart.

I had to convince myself that if Travis came right through that door right now I wouldn't run into his arms.

I wouldn't ask him why he hasn't called for a month and just send him away.

"I'm tired" I let out as I made my way to my bedroom.

I didn't miss the look of sympathy my mom gave me. I hated him more then. I love him but I still hate him..

                 

"I'm sorry Mona" Amara apologized.

"Ok you can leave now" I said coldly.

"Mona. Look I'm sorry ok? Michael brainwashed me.....I didn't mean anything I said then. I just saw what he wanted me too. Please forgive me" she pleaded.

I stared at her blankly.

"Amara honestly even if I forgave you nothing would ever go back to the way it used to be. You broke my trust and you're never getting it back. I do forgive you but from now on you're just my cousin. Nothing else" with that I closed my door on her tear stricken face.

It's partly my fault for not telling her why we broke up but i didn't care.

I didn't think I was being too harsh. I didn't feel anything. After breakfast I took my prenatal vitamins before taking a well needed nap.

I didn't sleep last night. I was nearing six months and my baby was more active than ever especially at night and also because of.... Travis.

No surprise there.

I just wish things had gone better. I had already started seeing us living happily as a family.

A tear slid down my cheek. I hate these baby hormones.

I can't even say his name without feeling bitter. I hate him for doing this to me. Everything seemed duller and everday i had to force myself to leave my bed. All i wanted to do was sleep.

Three weeks later I was walking around the house as my daily 'exercise' when my phone rang.

It was a private number. I frowned while staring at it before it stopped ringing. It started up again and I reluctantly picked up.

"Hello?" I said.

There was no response and I was tempted to just hang up. It could be ritual killers! But I froze when I heard the vioce.

"Mona"

His vioce was raspy like he had been crying or something. I sucked in a shaky breath and I immediately hung up. I quickly wiped my tears but they just kept falling.

I gave up trying to stop the tears and just let it fall. Why! Why now of all times.

I was just learning to live without you. I was getting used to not having him around. I was finally able to look at my reflection without crying.

I even tried burning some of hus clothing but i couldn't. I kept them tucked away,somewhere my eyes won't see.

I wanted to call back and scream why into the phone untill i got an answer but I didn't. I let myself cry.

I detested feeling this way. But for some reason i only hated the feeling and not him. I tried. I really did try but i just...can't.

I promise this was the last time I cry for you Travis.

The fucking last time. My sobs died down to a few sniffles. I felt drained of all my strength and a little hungry. I made myself a snack and cuddled on my couch.

I turned on the TV and put on a random movie. I watched the movie barely concentrating.

I locked away every thoughts of travis to the back of my mind and let myself enjoy the movie.

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