Taming The Phoenix

Chapter One

"You won't get anywhere if you sit there and wait for life to steer the wheel , steer it yourself"
⭕️🌟⭕️

When I was a child I'd dream about a forest, deep green grass covered the ground , fallen trees with growing moss and flowers. I'd dream about the smell of the earth and grass, could feel the soft touch of a leaf and the sweet sound of birds singing. The feeling of freedom and warmth, in the dream I'd spread my arms out and feel the soft gust of the wind gliding against my skin, I'd close my eyes and feel the sun in my face, feel the heat and comfort that it gave me. I'd embrace the beautiful nature, I'd close my eyes and savoir the moment, knowing it wont last long and peacefully and when I open them fire would erupt around although not burning and destroying nature , the birds would still sing while the fire rages on, the trees would still be green while it runs its course, but as soon as the dream came it vanishes.

Every now and then the same dream would appear, the beginning of the dream were always peaceful which was always my favorite part but then it turns into a beautiful nightmare, although there are dreams I could recall for the painful thought of it but my dream was my sense of escapement , a place where imagination and unknown appear, though dreams were called dreams for a reason, false reality.

The alarm for work had set off a couple hours ago and yet I stare at the roof of my ceiling recreating the dream I've had for the past years I've been alive. Same warmth and feeling , same scene and outcome.

I reluctantly got up , the warmth of the bed disappears and in place of a cold chill hitting me.I groan rather wanting to be in the comfort of my bed but if I we're to stay in bed I'd find myself jobless and right now wasn't the right time to lose a job with so many in need of them. My feet hit the cold wooden floor , letting out a big stretch before proceeding and getting ready for work , before making my way to the bathroom I peeked out the boring treeless area I lived in, buildings littered the area worn down and collapsing, close to meeting the ground itself.

 I could never figure out why I'd dream about a forest when the place I'd lived at for years was completely the opposite of it, there was no forest for miles away just a littered and broken city . 

I proceeded to the bathroom and got ready for the day to began , the same old boring reality.

Everyday was the same routine for me, wake up , get up , get dressed and work, same old boring life , although I did loved my job it was my only sense of escapement from reality while I'm awake, I didn't have to be around as many people if I chose too, working as a librarians assistant for an old sweet lady wasn't the best but it wasn't the worse either and I loved books, another one of my favorite, it wasn't the best job but just a little bit got me through life for a couple years and although it was never my intention to meet people here but I was glad I did.

Walking into the old cathedral look alike building , I pushed open the door revealing thousands of books from years of collection, dust in every corners and crevasses of the books but yet they hold so much knowledge, papers upon papers. Reading was my sense of familiarity and home , I'd remember the times my mother and I spent sitting on the porch couch from dusk till dawn lost in the thought of our stories , sometimes lost in the thoughts of her stories from life. 

I had quite a bit of reality escapement but it helped , it helps forget about past and stay in the moment , not the best moment but not the worse either.

I walked up to Sarah the other helper , she was a little bit younger then me though, her long locks of blond hair reached just below her shoulder blades, her rounded blue eye were one of best feature , Sarah was one of the people I've met here which was why I wasn't to hard on myself about finding friends , sometimes some of them are worth it,
"Hey Nixy, how was you're drive here to work " , she placed herself beside me and we continue to walk together towards the back room so I could securely place my belongings in a cabinet with a lock , although it's a library nothing was safe around this city in general and I couldn't risk losing my stuff when its hard to retrieve them back. Sarah looks at me waiting for my reply as she casually text one of her boy toy, "oh you know same as usual , same old place and same old scene , nothing exciting ever happens in this city besides drug lords" , which was true, there was nothing innocent about this city anymore, with broken family and messed up people no one was safe and no one could trust anybody.

Sarah doesn't bother to look up from her phone and continues talking, I shake my head, people and they're phones now days, "well that's Merryville for you, nothing new ever happens on this side of the city", and I couldn't agree more, "hey are you going to David's small get together, you know you're going to have to he has a big crush you, hell he could be in-love with you for all I know " I groan, Jason was one of the few people that I've met, he was a nice guy, funny, charming, has a three month old daughter but definitely not for me right now, it wasn't the fact that he had a kid , hell with the experience of taking care of my siblings I could be mother but its the fact that I've been running from my past, and I'd rather not have anyone I'd care about be in the middle of my messed up life.

Sarah waits for me answer. "uh maybe depends on how I'm felling to be honest" I wasn't much of party girl between us Sarah had all the qualities for a bad girl type of vibe, me on the other hand loved books, loved to be outside with nature, although our hobbies and likes were different Sarah and I definitely both have a stubborn personalities, which is what I loved about her she was different but she could understand me, "but you always say that and I end up going alone or having to call you to pick me up!!" She whines , I groan , I could truly never say no to her because she never takes no for an answer, "okay jeez I'll go"

She jumps in glee as I moan , knowing myself I'd probably find a very secluded place and read one of my favorite books. Sarah and I walked back towards the main room and quickly got to our job. This was my life , boring , plain but I'd rather it be that way then having to keep running from it.

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