spellbound heart

𝐀𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐈𝐧 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞

Author: loserchildhotpants

Summary: Harry always thought he'd know when he fell in love - that the 'falling,' qualifier would be a key sign that it had happened, but the trouble is, when he returns to Hogwarts as the DADA Professor, and finds Draco Malfoy already there, titled Potions Master, he spends so much time stumbling, and tripping, he only notices he's fallen once he's hit the ground.

*******

Books, films, television shows, every other bloody song on the radio, and every person and their dog that Harry's ever encountered refers to love as a 'fall,' and how one can't make a pro's and con's list for that type of thing, can't necessarily collect evidence to figure out when and where, why and how, but that he'd 'just know.' Those were the Golden Rules of Romantic Love.

In retrospect, during his years at Hogwarts as a student, Harry could understand now that he fell into puberty around Ginny Weasley - but that wasn't falling in love.

He thought it was, at the time, as all of his brain power seemed dedicated to her face, her hair, her laugh, her still-developing figure - and when he'd been snogging her in hallways, or near the Quidditch pitch, it always felt like trying to stop an oncoming train with his bare hands simply to slow down when they'd get a bit too excited.

Thinking about his adolescence now, Harry thinks he probably never fell in love with Ginny, but was rather struck hard over the head with repressed hormones, and while there was often grappling, and (if he was very lucky) groping involved, there was no sensation of falling.

So, maybe everyone and their dog was full of shite, is what he thought. Perhaps that's not how love really is, and he was happy to believe that for a very long time.

Plenty of people bored of Harry, after the war.

Not Ginny, though - at least, it wasn't explicit, the way it had been with so many other people, and Harry thought that must be love as well, keeping him around even though he wasn't an exciting adventure anymore.

After Hogwarts, she'd gone on to play competitive Quidditch, she was making friends everywhere she went, and having him on her arm felt a lot like being paraded as a macabre post-war decoration than being her equal. He knows she didn't mean for any of it to feel like that, but it's how he felt regardless of her intentions.

She was off onto new people, new challenges, new adventures, though, and all he wanted was a break from them.

He wanted something consistent, something familiar, something that - maybe - could make him happy, bring him peace of mind, establish a routine after a long life of inconsistent chaos, and so he came back to Hogwarts, post-graduation, and post-Ginny.

He came back to teach.

He came back home.

Upon his arrival, he was rather alarmed to find Draco Malfoy already deeply established in the position of Potions Master, and he might have backed out of the idea entirely had McGonagall not been so visibly thrilled to take him on as a Defence Against the Dark Arts professor.

Unlike Malfoy, who was still pursuing enviable certifications, and licenses for potioneering while still teaching, Harry hadn't seemed to need to prove anything to anyone.

After all he'd been through, it seemed as though that was all his resume needed; 'I'm Harry Potter, please trust your children and their education with me.'

And Hogwarts was overflowing with new students - students too that wanted to transfer just for the sake of saying they'd been taught by Harry Potter.