nyc•to•phil•ia | nik-tō-fil'ē-a
- love of darkness or night;finding relaxation or comfort in darkness.
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{EXTRACT}
"Tell me Celeste," he began as he walked back and forth in front of me.
"Have you ever heard of nyctophilia?"
I slowly...
TW/ sexual assault {This was a really hard chapter to write, but you'll see for yourself :(}
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Celestes POV: "Why did he have those pictures of you Celeste?" He asked through gritted teeth, and I grimaced.
I gulped then crossed my arms nervously.
I wasn't expecting him to get straight to the point...
I took a deep breath, before trying to explain myself so he wouldn't leave me.
"I- I didn't want to, I really didn't want to, but he said I had to, Asher. He said I had to, or he'd tell everyone that I was bad, and then dad and Ambrose would find out, then they'd give me away, then I wouldn't have-"
"Baby... slow down." He cooed and moved over to me, before pulling me onto his lap, but I couldn't look at him. "Tell me from the start."
I bet he thinks I'm disgusting... and dirty.
I looked down at my shaking hands, before I began to tell him everything.
"At the end of 8th grade, going into 9th grade, this boy called Jackson started to be really nice to me." I looked up at Asher to see him looking at me and he nodded, encouraging me to go on. "I knew I shouldn't have believed it, but he was the first person that had been nice to me in ages, and..." I paused, before quickly muttering. "I kind of used to think he was pretty..."
Why do I have to be so pathetic?
I took a deep breath, then exhaled shakily as I remembered what happened.
"Then one day at lunch, he told me to follow him into some closet that no one went into...Then he told me to- he told me to take my top off... I couldn't understand why he wanted me to do that back then, but he said if I really liked him then I would... so I did."
I looked back up at Asher, but he was looking away now with a clenched jaw.
"Carry on."
I looked away again, and tried to wipe away my tears, but it was useless as they kept on falling.
He thinks you're disgusting.
"After the first time I told him I didn't want to do it again, but he- he said that if I didn't do it, he'd tell everyone what I did then dad, and Ambrose would find out. He said they wouldn't want me if they knew, then they'd give me away."
I can't believe I actually believed that...
"He- he made me do it a few more times, then he started to be really mean to me... He used to laugh, and tell me how- how weird and disgusting my body looks, and took pictures, then it got worse... He started telling me to take my bra off, then he'd-" I paused, and squeezed my eyes shut as my nails digged into my arm. "He'd... touch them, and take more pictures, and I hated it. I really hated it Asher, and I swear I didn't want to do it, but he said I had to. I didn't truly understand how wrong it was then, but I do now, and I'm- I'm so, so sorry Asher, please don't hate me. I wanted to forget it ever happened, and- and-"
