Another day, another colonizer needing to be put back in their place.
Fae, 16 (theatre kid), has just woken up from a fitful 4am-7am slumber after drinking cold brew at 12am.
She logs onto Twitter because she is cool.
There, she sees an idiotic tweet from none other than #notherpresident.
"Poopoo peepee fart," it reads.
Fae sighs and slides her glasses up face to pinch the bridge of her nose, an act that is a #metaphor for the theatre kid trying to grab hold of the last of her sanity to keep from going monky.
The audacity of The White Man to make her deal with this at Ass In The AM.
Fae cracks her knuckles as menacingly as someone who is 4"11 can and sets off 2 work.
"Good morning, my 2012 emo fashion regressers. Let's dissect this, shall we? [A thread]
First of all, fart being last is a total blasphemy. How do you know when to poopoo without farting first? Yeah, that's what I thought.
Secondly, when you poopoo you do NOT peepee that much. One pee would suffice. Two pee per person would DAMAGE OUR ECONOMY BEYOND REPAIR. I don't peepee at all but when I do its radioactive.
3st point, you don't always have to peepee after poopoo?? We have peepee poopoo as two separate teams for a reason. Also fart usually comes after if it's just peepee, but you dont always have to do it. Nor do you always have to do it. Ong these remixes are too much.
In conclusion, in order for this statement would have to read (fart) poopoopee (fart).
Also I'm planning to burn the white house to the ground on Wednesday. These "politics" mfs are 2 much. What's the FBI gonna go? Stop me."
Cue the FBI coming to stop her.
YOU ARE READING
The Lankiest of Them All
Non-FictionLanky theatre kid Fae tweets about war crimes as normal ppl do and gets put on a watchlist by undercover fbi agent Satori Tendou. After meeting in their 2D3D class, they throw hands. Or do they kiss? Read The Lankiest of Them All to find out!
