Helluva Grimm

Chapter Four:Gravity Falls

11:44 pm. Frankfurt. Unbeknownst to everyone, inside a building...one of the strangest "hunts" ever seen in the world is literally taking place:three imps, came straight from the bowels of hell...are chasing two little puppets, brought to life by the magic of a book with the faces(and probably also the souls) of the Brothers Grimm. Definitely a show that someone would definitely pay for, to see at least once in a lifetime. That's what...a certain deceased sorcerer is doing, by watching the mission proceed with a purple crystal ball...laughing like crazy, in seeing such incompetence, on their part, even wiping away the tears that have formed on his eyes, from giggling too much.
"Oh holy demigod! This IS,truly exhilarating to observe:a trio of idiots, trying to do an almost impossible job! If I,the great sorcerer of the North didn't succeed then it is clear as the powerful light of mother moon that not even them, some pitiful low-ranking demons would never make it! It would really be a heap, if they did:then, at that point I would have to seriously surrender to them, for the fairness of our deal that part of my precious treasure. But from what I remember,of those two poultices and from what I see at the moment that won't be anywhere near the case. And I, besides will have an excuse to have fun on them. Oooooh, there are just so many possibilities, that I could exploit, to be able to change their lives. Since I died and lost most of my powers, because of Prince Stolas I haven't even had a chance, to have fun by manipulating a little other lives. At least now I can upset a fair number of them. Although...I will have to be very,very careful with that owl... "he says, sighing, rubbing his bald skull under his golden hat.
"What has a sorcerer of my caliber been reduced to do,to even just be able to balance the tremendous strength that is boredom, inside his brain. And to think that I once tortured the enemies of my king,to have some kind of fun... and now I have to limit myself to upsetting their lives...well:always if they fail. A very likely scenario...but nothing is ever predetermined, unfortunately..." he says, before falling back into silence,turning back to observing them,right while Blitzo fires with his rifle at sawed-off rods near the doorknob, creating a large hole in its center, large enough for his face, which he quickly approaches, looking at poor YoYo and Doc Croc on the other side,who look back at him, simply trembling and terrified.
"Heeere's BLIIIIIIIIITZ! Fuck yeah, I always wanted the right chance to quote that fucking film!" Blitzo says, showing a big, maniacal wide-eyed smile, clearly quoting the movie The Shining.
"Boss...the door is open. Was there really a need to waste a bullet like that?..." Moxxie asks,who opens the door open simply by turning the knob (glaring at Blitzo, as if to say "are you even serious"?... ),terryfing even more the two little targets, who emit a small scream,for some seconds,as they begin to back away.
"You always have to spoil the fun, Moxxie, don't you? I'm starting to think you have a fetish,for that..." asks the head of the agency, as he passes through the door, concentrating on the two little ones, pointing the gun at them, as they are already about to go behind a big and heavy closet.
"But...but what have we done of wrong to you? Why do you want to...kill us?! I don't understand:we have never done nothing wrong to you...demons" Doc Croc asks, who holds himself against the closet behind which he and his friend were about to repair.
"Well, if you really want to know,you litthe shits a client paid us profusely, to fuck your life away:nothing personal. But now we have to pierce your brains."
Both scream very frightened once again... but immediately afterwards the jackal, out of the corner of one of his eyes...notices...a small pony toy, protruding from the boss's jacket. And seeing it... he starts laughing. Suddenly,like that,out of nowhere.
"YoYo, what the-"
"Look, Doc!" YoYo says, pointing out the same thing to the gecko, who immediately realizes he has something in mind...and starts laughing too.
"Well, I didn't know that dying would make you so happy. Oh well!" Blitzo says, smiling, who is already putting his finger on the trigger, along with Moxxie.
"I never imagined, that a tough guy like you...had a little toy, oohohohohooooh!" YoYo says, teasing him.
"That pony is fantastic, assholes. What are you even trying to imply?" asks the boss, who begins to get visibly irritated, as he lowers the weapon slightly, so that he can hear what they have to say, before running dry.
"I like it so much, for example!" Millie says, all smiling.
"See:my dear employee thinks exactly like me!"
"Boss. I don't think we really should-"
"No no no, Moxxie:let's let these two little bastards do their talking. Put the gun down for a moment:let's hear what excuses they want to use, before we blow their brains out."
"Hhm..." Moxxie simply says, absolutely not convinced, as he lowers his rifle.
"Well, you know, ahahahah:it's not like everyone have a so much... delicate and feminine taste!" Doc Croc says, neatly spelling the last word, saying all this in order to provoke him. A good strategy, although it's very risky...
"So, what kind of difference should it make? It doesn't diminish me,you know!..."
"And that's right here, the point...that Doc will tell you! Come on, Crocky!" says the jackal, who gently nudges his friend's left shoulder.
"Ehm...oh yeah. Of course, YoYo...if you'll stop hitting me..." Doc Croc says, looking sternly at his friend for a second, before returning to focus on Blitzo.
"This reminds me of something, for some strange reasons..." Moxxie says, in a low voice.
"The point,Mr..." says the gecko, pausing for a moment, to find out the name of his interlocutor.
"Blitz:the O is silent!"
"Well, Blitz with the silent O:the point is that you still gives us a bad impression, of yourself, as...a assassin, right?..."
"You're right! The best,out of everyone!" the boss says, bragging.
"That's what I'm talking about:me and my friend YoYo here believe that you would never be able...not only to kill us without your precious weapon...but also that you could never really hit us."
"Oh really?! And why shouldn't I be able to do such a simple task? Let's hear it." he asks, arching an eyebrow.
"Oh, oh, OOOH! I got it! I got it! Can I tell, can I?" Millie asks, raising her hand enthusiastically.
"Of course, miss..."
"Millie! Blitz couldn't because you look like puppets! Beautiful and adorable puppets! And I admit you look so cute to me too! YES!"
Blitzo widens his eyes, confused by what they just said, as his mind begins to wander,like in the worst memes imaginable.
"Oh,crumbs..." Moxxie says to himself, as he sighs and rolls his eyes, looking away momentarily.
"Now, YoYo:now that they're distracted!" says Doc Croc, who takes YoYo by the arm and runs off behind a small crack behind the closet.
"Eh?! God fucking dammit! Damn you bastards:they confused me on purpose! These little guys can be smart,holy shit!" he says, as he and Moxxie start shooting at them, just some moments before they disappear behind the closet...missing them completely. And at that point, while his two employees do their utmost to move the closet and make room to reach the two their boss climbs on top of it.
"You try to move it...so that I can throw myself on top of them and crush them like the shits they actually are!" says the boss, already on top of the closet.
"What do we do, Doc?..." YoYo asks, looking worried at his friend.
"I...I have no idea:we...we are trapped!..." says the gecko,panicking.
"Push harder, Moxx! ..." Millie says, wearily.
"I'm trying!...." Moxxie says. And at that point... here it is:YoYo has another intuition...
"And...what if we try, I don't know...to drop this closet, to distract them? No...no, damn it, it's not possible! It's too big and heavy...HOW?!" says YoYo, who panics even more than his friend. The two,so start to despair together...until the gecko widens its eyes, starting to stop and calm down.
"What's wrong,now?..."
"Oh...OF COURSE! How did I not think about it before! Do you remember what the famous Archimedes said?" Doc Croc asks, starting to smile at his friend.
"Who? But...oh damn, Doc:do you think this is the moment to think about the great discoverers of history?! ..."
"Wait, before you speak:he said...give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall move the world!"
"So what? How could this ever help us in a situation like this one?!..."
At those words the gecko opens his shoulder bag. And immediately pulls out... a long, sturdy silver...lever,with a black rubber handle.
"A lever?..."
"Exactly, YoYo:we're going to use it to apply the amount of force needed to knock over this big closet."
"But...how is it possible? We are not tall and strong men, you know? We are a little bit, but just a little bit, you know...more disadvantaged."
"Just trust me..."
Millie and Moxxie, meanwhile, begin to manage to move the wardrobe.
"...Aaaaaaah! Okay, OKAY! But what should we do?"
"First of all help me insert one end of it right into that little space under the closet." says the gecko, who, together with the gecko, slips the end into the indicated point(not without a little effort,which occupied a lot of precious time...).
"Is it tucked right in, YoYo?"
"Yes, Doc, don't worry!"
"Good:now let's both put our hands on the handle."
They both place their hands on the black handle of the lever, squeezing it with an iron grip(for how possible it was,for them to apply a strong grip,of course...).
"Do you want to hurry up there? I don't want to do the circus monkey all over again!" says Blitzo, to his two employees.
"You could very well...give us a hand too, don't you think?! ..." Moxxie asks,sweating a lot, along with his wife.
"Naah:it's funnier to watch you fatigue! It's not like they can run away or invent some crazy stuff anyway, right? I don't even understand how that old megalomaniac got killed by these two!" says the boss, giving further proof that he has not listened properly to his client...
"When I tell you, YoYo...we'll have to press the handle with all our strength! Ok? "
"Clea enough, Doc:let's surprise them!"
"Well then:one! ..."
"We're almost there, darling: one last effort!..."
"Two..."
"Yes, like this:push! Just like you do during your lazy boring couple stuffs!"
"THREE!"
"NOW, MILLIE!"
"NOW, YOYO!"
"NOW!" say at the same time the philosopher and the imp, while, together with their respective companions they give a big push, using all their strength, screaming... while so Moxxie and Millie create a space large enough for pass and to Blitzo to go down.
"AHAAAAAH! IT'S TIME TO CRUSH A COUPLE OF ANTS-er? ..." Blitzo wonder...hearing the floorboards bend...as the really heavy closet start to fall! The two fairytale travelers managed to give the closet a little push forward, too tiny to lift it completely. But enough for gravity to take its course. And that's how, in tremendous shock the three imps watch the wardrobe tumble forward...With Blitzo on top.
"Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit...SHIIIIT!" says the boss, before finding himself thrown backwards, hitting a window, which breaks through. And, in doing so, screaming and cursing very loudly...he falls into the void, from who knows how many floors high...
"DAMN YOU,YOU LITTLE TALKATIVE BASTAAAAAARDS!..."
"Boss!..."
"Blitz!..."
But they don't have time to say anything else...that the closet crashes completely on the floor...starting to...break it completely.
"Quick, Doc:against the wall! ..." YoYo says, as he puts his arm in front of his friend's torso, clinging to the wall with him.
"Oh no...MILLIE! MOOOOVE!" Moxxie says, who shoves his wife away, to an un-collapsed side of the room, only to fall downstairs himself, screaming at the top of his lungs, as the closet continues to break through a floor after another...while Millie clings to a few inches of wood, remaining suspended in the void.
"MOXXIEEEEE! AAAH...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" she says, while those few centimeters of wood break, causing her to fall below as well, disappearing in the dust of who knows how many meters deep that is forming, while other rubble continues to fall from the floors...
"Uff...that was a close one,right Doc?..."
"Eh...yeah, YoYo..." replies teh gecko, while a few centimeters of stable wood are left,on front of them.
"Forgive us so much for the house, book..."
"............Why do I have this fucking feeling? Meh:I guess I'll just ignore it..." Loona says, who is now chatting with a certain feathered acquaintance of hers on Voxtagram...while, however that feeling of hers keep tormenting her without leaving her alone. Could something really bad have happened?...