𝙈𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙘𝙞𝙣𝙚/ c.b

1

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            I didn't understand why people loved people. People do nothing but hurt and let you down, I know this for a fact. And I know this cause it's all I've ever experienced in my 18 years of existing on this earth. Take it, I'm not a depressed or angry person. I knew who I was and what I wanted to do with my life. And a social life was not on that list of things that were significant for my happiness.

The good thing about living in a town in the middle of Indiana is the population is very dense. My adoptive mother and dad, who weren't very involved in my life, were both cops who loved rules. I've been following them ever since I joined their household and I think I've broken them more than I have followed them.

I was adopted by them when I was 12, and at that age, I didn't know who I was or who I wanted to be. So I tried to explore around town as best I could to get a feel of the things I like and the places I wanted to see. Mary, my adoptive mom, didn't like me being too far away from them and venturing off on my own. She thought it was way too dangerous. So, I snuck out when I wanted to. Especially at night. As I said, the town was small so everything was within walking distance.

Amos, my adoptive Dad, was very much a typical old times dad. He didn't like the idea of women or girls being independent. He wanted nothing more than for me to be a stay at home mom with kids, cooking and cleaning for my husband who would have a job. Of course, this was hypocritical since his wife is a literal cop, but she's also with him 24/7 and doesn't let her venture off on duty alone. He doesn't think she can handle it, and Mary just goes along with it.  But, since he hated me getting out of line, he keeps me home a lot of the time. Which, again, only makes me want to sneak out more.

So I do that. I break the most important rule and I sneak out every night, usually sleeping during the day as much as I can when I'm not at school. I sneak out at around 11 when they go to bed, and I'm back by 6, which is an hour before they wake up. Of course, sometimes they have late-night shifts. So I can't exactly go out when they're on duty. I stay home those nights, catching up on school work and maybe watching a movie. It's very boring, and I never enjoy it.

Despite me not giving the school the attention it deserves, I was smart. I learned most of everything from books back at the orphanage and because of all the free time I had back there, I read a lot. Probably more than anyone else there. But I was also one of the older kids, a lot of the other children were no older than 6 and a lot of them didn't know how to read. So I taught a lot of them and learned new things in the process. I was like their older sister, and they were my younger siblings.

Sadly, that orphanage is 3 towns down and I do not own a car. I borrow Amos's if I need to go anywhere. And since I can't exactly leave town, I haven't seen those kids since. I miss them deeply and wish they have found good homes and if not, they're doing okay and taking care of one another. I was heartbroken when I had to leave but I was also happy to have found a home. Despite them being controlling, I do appreciate them. I would still be sitting on a small twin bed in a cold room if it wasn't for them. So even though I'm not always the happiest, I'm still comfortable and safe. Which is more than I could ever ask for.