Silently Falling (UNEDITED, ORIGINAL)

Chapter Twenty Eight

Silently Falling (ORIGINAL): Chapter Twenty Eight

I wake the next morning, not feeling well rested at all. If anything I feel more exhausted than when I went to bed. My eyes want to stay shut, but I find myself restless and unable to completely fall into a slumber that is much needed.

After West left last night, I tried to just go to sleep, but I couldn't keep the disappointment on his face out of my mind. He was waiting for me to tell him. He opened up to me so that I would open up to him, and I realized that much too late.

I want to tell him. I want to be able to get this giant weight off of my chest and admit everything to him. He deserves to know, and I trust him to not tell anyone else. But the fear of losing West is keeping me from admitting my darkest secret. I don't want him to think of me any differently, he's starting to mean too much to me for me to take that chance.

"Hey Raine," Alyse says, barging into my room and my thoughts.

I glance up at her and squint against the light as she turns it on. I groan and throw my arm over my face, trying to keep my eyes from burning against the sudden brightness.

She stares at me and pauses, "Did you get any sleep last night?" She asks, sitting on the bed next to me. The movement makes the bed shake and I groan, sitting up. I run my hand through my hair, cringing at the tangles that catch my fingers.

I shake my head in response to her question.

"How come?" She asks, frowning at me.

I wave it off, "I just had a lot on my mind, what's up?"

She watches me through inquisitive eyes for a few seconds, but I don't give anything away and she drops it.

"Well Toby actually asked me on a date tonight, and I wanted your help with my outfit. I know it's only ten, but I'm kind of stressing out. Plus he left to the store like five minutes ago." She says, diving into her sudden problem.

I rub the sleep from my eyes and yawn, nodding my head. "This is a change of events. You asking me for fashion advice."

She laughs and then stands up, "Meet me in my room when you're ready. And brush your teeth, please. I don't like smelling a mixture of manure and spoiled seafood all in one breath."

I scowl and throw a pillow at her, but she dodges it and runs out of the room, her laughter following behind her. I meet her in her room five minutes later and scan the outfits she has laid out on her bed, and almost too easily I choose one. I point to a simple, long-sleeve teal shirt and leggings.

"That's the simplest outfit of them all!" She exclaims.

"I know," I sign through a yawn. "Y'all already admitted you love one another, don't worry about what you wear. He knows you inside out and you him. He will love you no matter what."

The thoughts I've been attempting to keep back suddenly push to the front of my mind. Shouldn't I be taking my own advice?

She starts folding the un-chosen clothes and puts them away, but she pauses and cocks her head with a smile. "You're completely right. I love him, he loves me, who gives a shit what I wear?"

I nod distractedly, not entirely listening to what she's saying. Instead I'm lost in my own head and my own thoughts.

Alyse finishes putting the clothes away and sits on the bed next to me. "I can't help but be nervous. What if he expects me to act different now that we're dating?"

I may not love West, but there's obviously feelings there. I know him just as well as Gray and Tyler, and I've known him for only two months. I have thoughts about him that insinuate I like him more than a friend, which I've admitted to myself that I do. He told me that nothing will change how he feels about me, but what about something as big this?