Under The Sakura

Coming To Realization

About a month passed after that incident, but nevertheless, the pain never eased. I sat down every night, crying, it felt as if nothing would ever change. That was that, all I wanted… Gone before my eyes. 
"I told you… several times… Addy… You just need to come too with these terms." Zara whispered. 
"Shut up… Don't remind me of my stupidity." I replied in pain. 
Scritch. Scritch. Scritch.
The sound of my pencil scribbling across my paper, it was our second hour, and beside me sat Alyssa, another one of her ex's. But that didn't matter to me, we both were still good friends. We both met back in middle school, she was my partner in a class project which is what started our friendship to begin with. 
"You doin ok?" She asked me. 
"Oh, yeah, I'm fine." I said with a smile on my face. I'm sure she knew I wasn't, but she did not pry. 
"Now class, we will be doing a six word story project, you can only use a max of six words, but it has to be able to tell a whole story. So choose wisely on the words you use." The teacher explained. 
"Simple enough," I thought to myself. 
Scritch. Scritch. Scritch. 
I began writing out some ideas.
"you promised, but you broke it." I read aloud in my head. It did not take even a split second for the pain to rush back to my head. I scurried to the teacher for permission to use the bathroom, she let me, and upon reaching the bathroom… everything in me just fell from me. I burst out into tears. 
"Why… Why did you have to leave me like this?! You bitch! You promised! You promised you'd always be there! Why… Why…" I curled up against the corner of the wall, disregarding the fact it was a bathroom.
"Hey, chill out, you'll bring attention to yourself." Zara said. 
"Shut up… At least that wouldn't be the worst case scenario." I said irritable.
"what would the worst case scenario be?" Zara asked.
"if somehow coincidentally, she walked into this bathroom right now." I said flatly. 
"Get over her, she ain't ever gonna come back. I'm sorry Addy, it ain't gonna happen at all." Zara said softly. 
"Shut up!" I raised my voice, and more tears fell from my eyes. 
I began rubbing my shoulder, several cuts were highly visible when my sleeve went up. The very culmination of our breakup, more visible than a neon light. I continued rubbing the scars and scabs. 
"Your anxiety is fake."
"Stop tryna get attention!" 
"You dumb kid."
The words repeated themselves amongst me, I peeled the fresh scabs off, blood slowly trickling down my right arm.
"Damn it… How long has it been?" I asked. 
"Eh, about eight minutes if I had to guess." Drake, the other nuisance in my head replied. 
"I suppose… I need to cool down and go back before the teacher has to come looking for me." I said sorrowfully. 
I pushed myself up, dried my tears, and left the stall. I approached the sinks and grabbed a paper towel. 
"I guess I need to get rid of the mess." I chuckled a little, wetting down the paper towel and wiping up the blood that was left behind from my cuts. 
The day continued about, but a lingering pain was afoot of me. 
Lunch hour came, and right behind my friend group's lunch table… Was no other than Layni's table itself. My smart ass friends decided it would be best to… set me on the side that made me look at her every single damn day. The constant flowing daydreams of me and her never stopped, everytime I looked into those deep, beautiful brown eyes of hers, they would flow stronger. 
But this wouldn't be the brunt end of it all.