Falling for Ocean Blue [BxB] ✔️

Chapter Nineteen

In the dim light of Gino's pizzeria, all three teams are glowering. Beaded eyes stalking prey as the winners parade to the centre table. We have respectfully declined any follow up games. I ignore their fire and take my seat next to Aubrey. She is grinning madly as Peter and Briar talk loudly about the best plays of the day. Percy is chatting away animatedly. She has a way with conversation that puts the burliest football players at ease. Minho and Grace join us as the sun begins to set.

"That was the most fun I've ever had!" Aubrey is uncharacteristically open at a table of strangers.

Grace sends me a grimace when we meet eyes.

"Max, is it true you're dating Juliette Carson?" Aubrey asks. The blonde girl is playing her painted fingers through her ponytail. She is only faintly interested because her eyes are lingering on another shade of blue.

The atmosphere moves away from friendly banter. Instead, there is a polite hush.

"Yes." I tell her with as much conviction so as to end the waves of inquisition.

Aubrey is her father's daughter. Ernest Wright being the biggest journalist poking holes into my story for a dime.

"How long have you two been together?"

"Just a year," I sigh.

Grace cuts her off before she can continue, raising her brows when I smile gratefully.

Austin is behind me at the soccer team table. He sits in the chair closest to me and puts a hand on my shoulder to turn my attention.

His face is ashen, deep lines etched either side of a red grin.

"A year's a long time, Max."

I just shrug.

Steven hits Soren's back as if to inspire a joke.

"I swear your brother is older than the rest of us. He talks like he's thirty." He guffaws.

"When will we meet the girl who made you a man, Maxie?"

I roll my eyes.

The energy I burned today bled out of my nose in the back of Austin's convertible. The bloody tissues are crumpled in my pocket. Stowed away with my will to socialise. Now, I want to be home under my covers. 

Asking no one in particular if a refill is in order, I lift myself from the low table. The plastic filter jug is halfway empty, so I fill it beyond the litre line. The pizzeria is in full swing, the music moving around young bodies. My body is to the water cooler. The coldness of the reservoir filling my lungs as I inhale deeply.

I feel his warmth.

"I watched an interview..."

Austin's golden hair is combed and gelled in that fashionable quiff he was insecure about once. I remember the boys giving him a hard time when he turned to me and asked if I liked it.

I smile at the curious boy who is nervously stealing glances at my expression. He isn't good at discerning my emotions. Unlike Austin, my feelings have been primed and smoothed since I was nine. He watches me with a wonderment I am getting used to. Blonde hair carefully swept back to reveal sharp cheekbones and a strong jaw. His appearance is impeccable, down to his polished shoes and gleaming buckles.

"It was at the London music academy. You and Juliette were talking about being prodigies-"

I wince at the memory.

"I had to do it for the scholarship. I don't usually talk to press." I realise too late that my tone is defensive. I am spinning on the heels of my shoes to shield my flushed cheeks.

Austin notices and grins.

"No, you were great. Relaxed, even. It reminded me of how bubbly you used to be. How you were today. You must really like her..." He watches me with a harrowing force, eyes trailing the dip of my Adam's apple.

"You were pretty hyperactive on the field. It was nice to see you smile again. I would've let you play with us sooner had I known. I've never seen competitive Max before. I guess being good at soccer comes with being European, right?" He's stumbling over his words, talking hurriedly as if his thoughts are racing for his mouth before they can be refined through a filter.

"There was a whole year we didn't see you." Austin sighs.

Here comes the guilt trip.

"I know Soren really missed you. I thought maybe you were having a hard time..."

"I've been... struggling lately." I say vaguely.

He nods sombrely.

"Today was a good day."

A gentle flood of content washes my defences.

We share a special moment.

My phone buzzes for the first time since I landed in LA. The ringtone singing an unfamiliar song, until the rhythm reaches my cognition, and I am struck with a million memories.

Austin takes the jug from me and returns to the wrong table to fill cups.

I take my phone out of my back pocket and check caller ID. Unknown caller flashes on my screen with urgency. I watch every pixel light up and die down for an eternity. A fading hope that the call may end before I have to answer, squeezes my palpitating heart. I overheat with overthought.

With my back turned from busy conversation and rowdy teens, I slide out a sewing pin pushed in the seam of my gym shorts. The sim card tray is persuaded out of its bed and the sim with it. I use the bottom of a glass cup to smash the small plastic square and pocket the empty phone.

"Max?" Kitty has sharp eyes.

I don't insult her with my winning smile and instead choose to remain silent. It is clear she has something to say. My sister comes up from behind me, leaving a clique of similar girls to trap me in interrogation.

"Soren is overcompensating..." She says vaguely.

She twirls a loose curl in the slight of her palm. My sister is wearing something shorter than what she left home in. Her eyes are smoky and her lips, pouted. Behind it all, she is the small toddler that soaked my bed in olive oil the first night I stayed over.

"I know you and I have that unspoken agreement to let him do that. I know that you don't need me doing it, too. So, I'll just ask... why are you back?"

Kitty shakes her head, pressing a finger to her temples in frustration and quickly adds, "Not that I don't want you here. We missed you, of course. Damn... that came out wrong."

She sighs.

My attention flickers over her crown. Only Soren's soft inquisition has found us in the crowd. I imagine the question has been burning behind his retinas, the way they bore into my skull in search of an answer.

"I wanted to feel like part of the family," I say slowly, "Boarding school was..."

My memory block glitches.

"Bad."

*

Post uni depression is no joke. Rereading these chapters help, so here's another chapter.

x

-M