Please..don't leave me alone..[Yeonbin]

Together Forever!

Chapter 41
(Part 5)
Huening Kai p.o.v

I've never felt lonely. When I was born, I already had an older sibling, she was my oldest sister. She was really kind, I wouldn't say she was annoying in a way, but like normal siblings, we did bicker, but we were really young, so we were really silly, and always decided to be together in the end again!

My mom was Korean, and my dad was born in Brazil. I was the second child, and was born in Honolulu Hawaii, in the United States. Honestly, even if I'm half Korean, I still find both Korea and the United States as my home. It helped me a lot too, in terms of speaking languages and understanding culture. I was never affected by the fact I was half, honestly I found it pretty cool! My parents look very different from eachother but, still are together! It taught me a lot.

When I was starting to enter school, my youngest sister was born. I loved her, and our family was finally complete! My family cared about being together a lot, and together, me and my siblings made music along the years, and I was happy! Going to school, I had a lot of friends too! I could've had more friends but, there are people in each group of society who judge, and so, they judged my appearance and automatically did not like me. I was honestly.. unbothered? It's not like I didn't care, a part of me did but I had such a great family and great friends that whenever they made fun of me, my friends would whip out Uno cards and we'd play-

Eventually when I entered middle school, I did get physically bullied by the age of 12. It hurt, really much honestly. It was continuously going on for almost a year but one time, my eldest sister found out and beated them up, and they never even dared to look at me! I was so lucky, and I envyed it so much. I was practically jealous of my own self while being grateful. While growing up and almost ending middle school, everyone was slowly turning from kids to teens, and noticed how everyone wanted time for themselves. I didn't mind, but got bored, always bored because I preferred being together, instead of alone but.. I guess it's not how it always works out.

When I became a teen, by the age of 13, I wasn't feeling the happiest? My friends found other friends and always spent time with them. It hurt. Really hurt. I wasn't invited anymore to anything, or talked to friends a lot which reduced my personality of being an extrovert, I wasn't that open anymore and shy. I didn't really get close to anyone because people thought I would be uncomfortable with them. I usually hanged out with my sister's at lunch, and at home because I realized, I didn't really have anyone close to me anymore. We continued to make music together, and had a lot of fun!

One day, I made a friend. I was still 13 at the time and to me, they were honestly really cool! He'd always trade food with me, have sleepovers, do basically anything together, we were inseparable! As we turned 14, he dissaprared for a few days. I was sad, because I thought he left, but one day he appeared! I was so happy, we became close but.. he was different? I know not everyone stays the same but, he was totally different. He wasn't kind, he was mean. He started bullying other kids, and laughing at stuff.. I didn't find funny, he even told me things I wasn't okay with myself, but I never wanted to lose him, so I stayed with him. One day, in school, one of my old friends confronted me about rumours, saying I make fun of other cultures, and have been abandoning my friend. I told him it wasn't true, and realized.. my friend had.. been gossiping about me. Well, that hurt the moment I heard it. I guess there was no choice other than us not being able to be friends anymore.

It hurt so much. He didn't even care, which pained me even more. I was lonely again. I tried to go with my siblings, but we couldn't interact other than the times we practiced music. My sister than had a great idea. She suggested that we would be band, and audition in companies, and so, that's how it went. We auditioned in many companies, but got into none. I couldn't help but feel like a failure. I felt like I was lacking and wasn't doing my best because internally I was still hurt by my friend. After giving up, we decided to just continue with our regular lives. I never thought I'd feel together again, and so surpringly, when I was about to turn 15, I was told to join a company called ibighit and eventually auditioned.

I got into the company by the age of  15, and that day, I met my Hyungs, all 4 of them ran to my house, with no transportation in the dark.. when I heard about this, I was surprised. Why did 4 random boys do such a thing? I was even more surprised when they started to spoil me, I was happy. I felt so.. important..? I hope that makes sense, because these 4 random boys made me feel like I matter. When I was turning 16 too, I heard one of my hyungs, Soobin hyung, stayed up till 4 a.m and bought gifts for me even though he wasn't sure if he could afford them, and honestly.. I never thought I'd be so important, not only that, my hyung Yeonjun Hyung always cooked me the meals of my choice, took care of me, played with me, both my oldest Hyungs felt like parents to me because they even let me sleep in between them! My other two Hyung's Beomgyu and Taehyun hyung always helped me in school work, watched cartoons with me, always protected me from bullies.. I never had a brother, and honestly having 4 older brothers makes me realize how much I've missed!

When I was about to turn 17, we debuted as a group called Tomorrow X Together. This group name seems so special to me and my members, because it fits so well how each of us make eachother feel together everyday, even tomorrow! I felt so happy, each day, I feel so complete with all my big brothers and each day, I am so grateful for it. With them, I feel like I could never be lonely, and we'll be together forever!

Right now, I'm an 18 year old, and despite being so old, my hyungs still spoil me with endless love and affection, and honestly, I still play with plushies too, even though I don't feel my age, I still feel better than what most people my age feel! I'm so happy, and wouldn't exchange this for anything. I hope we do stay together forever, please never change like my friend Hyungs, and please always remember how together matters more, let's stay together forever, even if we have ups and downs!

-Your maknae
Kai Kamal Huening
(Huening Kai)
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