I'm a What? (Harry Potter Girls x Harry Potter Twin! Male Reader) Book 1

1 - The Potters

(Y/n) Potter was an ordinary boy who went to an ordinary school, with his twin Harry Potter and his Bully for a cousin Dudley Dursley, who in his opinion looked more like a pig than a human being. They lived in Number 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey, and specifically cramped together in the cupboard under the stairs, in a little single bed, left with their belongings (a few of Dudley's old clothes) and the spiders with their webs. (Y/n) and Harry didn't mind the spiders, but they did mind the little amount of space they had to live in.

Our story begins 10 years after they had been left on the front steps of the Dursley's after their Mum and Dad, Lily and James Potter, had died in a car accident. It was a bright, early morning on the day of Dudley Dursley's Birthday and-
*Knock Knock*
As I was saying before I was interrupted ever so rudely... It was a bright, early morning on the day of Dudley Dursley's Birthday And-
*Bang Bang Bang*
"Up! Get Up! Now!"
(Y/n) and Harry woke up with a start at their Aunt's Cruel tone and unforgiving fist, banging on the door to their tiny safe haven. Hurriedly, they picked at tired eyes, got dressed and shared a very brief greeting before getting up.
Aunt Petunia: Quickly! I want you to take care of the Bacon and Eggs and don't you dare let it burn! Everything must be special on Diddykins' special day!
Harry and (Y/n) shared a look before beginning to cook the meal they would see the scraps of before being interrupted by Dudley's screaming.
Dudley: 36! But Last Year I had 37!
Aunt Petunia: We were going to get you another two while we are at the zoo
Dudley: Oh. Ok then.
He began ripping through the his presents, which included: a remote control car, a cine-camera, a racing bike and sixteen new games. As he got to the last present, a shrill ringing came from the telephone. Aunt Petunia took the call and when she had taken the call, she turned to talk to Uncle Vernon.
Aunt Petunia: Vernon, Miss Figg just called, she can't take them.
Uncle Vernon: What about Marge or Your Friend, Whats-her-name... Yvonne?
Aunt Petunia: Don't be silly, Marge hates the boys and Yvonne is on holiday in Majorca.

Miraculously, (Y/n) and Harry Potter then found themselves on the way to the zoo, in the backseats of the Dursley's Car with Dudley, who was still sulking about them coming. (Y/n) and Harry were gazing out the window the entire journey. It wasn't often they were able to leave confinement of the house, and never to go somewhere like the zoo.

(Timeskip brought to you by Harry and (Y/n) having a chat with a Boa Constrictor)

Suddenly, the glass in front of Dudley's face had disappeared and he toppled into the enclosure, with a splash. He slowly looked and watched in a horror as a gigantic Boa Constrictor made it's way past him and out of the enclosure. As it passed Harry and (Y/n), they could have sworn they heard the reptile say, "Thanksss Amigossss" but they assumed it was just their imaginations. When Dudley had gotten up to get out of the enclosure, he realised that the glass had reappeared and began to shout for his mum. Aunt Petunia quickly noticed and began screaming. After several cups of tea for Aunt Petunia and many threatens from Uncle Vernon to sue the zoo, Dudley was out of the exhibit safe and sound. A big hole had to be cut out as there was no proper door inside, just a latch that would open to pass food into and out of the enclosure, so a Dudley-sized hole, had to be cut out of the wall, and that took a little while as you could probably imagine how hard it is to cut through walls. On the way home, whilst we were in the car, the blame managed to shift from the zoo to Harry and (Y/n), and quite frankly, they still had no idea what was going on.

(Timeskip brought to you by Harry and (Y/n) trying to sleep in a comfortable position, whilst not disturbing each other's sleep)

It was another bright morning, another letterbox on the door had just slammed shut, signalling the arrival of the post.
Vernon: Dudley, go get the post.
Dudley: I don't want to! Make Harry and (Y/n) get the post
Vernon: Harry, (Y/n), go get the post.
Harry and (Y/n) trudged through the hallway to go get the post. Four things lay on the doormat: a postcard from Marge to Vernon (Marge was currently holidaying in the Isle of Wight), a rather large brown envelope, that looked remarkably like some kind of bill and - a letter for Harry and a letter for (Y/n). Harry and (Y/n) picked up their letters and stared at them. No one in their whole life had ever written to them. Who would want to? They had no friends and no other relatives. They didn't belong to any library so they'd never got any rude notes asking for books back. Yet here they were, two letters, addressed so plainly to them that there could be no mistake: