I can no longer feed the voice in my head telling me not to eat.

Sometimes bones can break

I spend hours exercising until passing out, and you told me it was a hobby. I spend hours online and doing leg lifts at the same time, looking at thinspos and diets that restrict up to 150 calories a day. I spent hours on trails almost drowning myself with water, just to throw it up 30 seconds later because I was terrified of the 16oz water bottle that equaled to weigh 1lb.

Looking up organs that is proven a human could live without, and considered removal. Rib removal to weigh less, a kidney, gallbladder, spleen, appendix, large intestine. Spitting as much as I can throughout the day to weigh less.

I was talking to my doctor about my goal weight, and he asked me if I wanted to be in a wheelchair the rest of my life, because my bones would be too thin to hold my weak thin body at that point, and all I can think was 'I would rather be in a wheelchair and be thin, than to look at myself everyday and think I was fat', 'how much does a wheelchair weigh?'

60lbs.