Letter to God

Chapter 1:The Letter

Hello my name is.............nevermind it does not matter...for now......(but i think you know my name already)but all i wanted to tell you was that"IM SO SORRY"........

PLEASE FORGIVE ME ..I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD ACTUALLY HAPPENED.......IM SOOOO SORRY ,in return desided to,well i desided to make everything stop.All the world would stop judging me,all i wanted to do is stop all the judgemental words that clash towards my heart.....

Hurting me.....
Destroying me......
Burning me.....
All the words smashed me to pieces.....they made me feel smaller than I already was.
I felt like everyone came to me in a crowd,with their fist tied up,their faces showed me the darkness of my sin.

A monster that could not be described with words,......but only with face emotions could tell you how bad the monster looked.......could be seen through the reflection of their halcyon eyes.

I felt so bad,so I desided to finish this once and for all.
I realize that since everybody dint want me close,I thought,"I am the one who is being judged and nobody else is,......why?....why?"

So first prayed to God that to please forgive and that to give me strenght to overcome this situation.I prayed every night for maybe 34-45 times to God saying the same thing over and over again.

At the end I felt more stronger but more closer to my opinion to die.
My friends were gone,they saw me as a monster ..,as a serial killer,they said I had no heart,everyone but one........