"Mother," I called out, "where are you?" I walked through the house; the kitchen, the living room, then the dining room, finding my mother there, setting the table. She looks up as I walk in the room, still holding the table cloth corner. I walk over to her so I am standing beside her and as I gaze at her, I notice all the differences between us. While her eyes are brown, mine are blue, her hair is dark black, and mine is pale yellow, almost white. We are as opposite as opposite can be.
"What is it? You look worried." Concern covers her face, as much as she tries to hide it she can't, another thing we don't have in common; her emotions are always shown on her face while mine are all hidden away.
"It's just that it's an important day tomorrow, and I'm not sure what to do." I confess. I know I shouldn't be talking to anyone about this, but I feel like I need to. I feel like it's worth the risk, and only my mom can tell me what to do. Tomorrow is my 18th birthday; therefore I get to pick what I want to do for the rest of my life.
"Hush, you know the rules, you can't speak of this, to anyone, including me. Do you know what they could do to you?" She pauses to look at me, but when I avoid her eyes she continues, this time a whisper. "They could banish you; they could make you leave the forest. I forbid you from talking about it; to me or anyone else." Her eyes start to tear up, I can see her from the corner of my eye, and I can tell that she's trying her hardest not to.
"I know, but, I need help..." I try and explain to her, but as I speak, she covers my mouth with her hand. This makes me stop speaking, and as I look at her, I see her glancing around nervously.
"I said: I forbid you to talk about it. Why do you always insist on disobeying me?" She scolds me. "I thought I taught you better than that Savahna. Now be gone and remember: do not speak of this to anyone else, ever." Mother glares at me until I nod. Then she slowly removed her hand from my mouth. I turn and leave the dining room, heading outside.
As I walk around outside, I notice my feet taking me towards The Edge. This is the only place I can go to get away from the loud and hurried community. Jo, my best friend, and I come here all the time; this is actually where we met eight years ago. As I head towards the trees that mark the boundary of our community, I see that Jo is already here. His feet are dangling off the side of a branch; his back is pressed to the trunk.
I reach for the lowest branch with both my arms and haul myself up. I've been doing this for so many years that I don't even break a sweat as I swing myself up the tree; branch after branch, until I am sitting on the branch next to him.
"Good morning Jo." I say as I settle down onto the branch. I look over at him; his black hair down to his shoulders, emerald green eyes, slight build; not huge, but not tiny either. He is looking down, so I look and see him moving something between his hands. "What's that?" I ask curiously as I lean forward to get a better look at it, but as I do, he hides it.
"It's nothing." He answers, "So, excited for tomorrow?" he glances up at me just in time to see me stiffen. "Don't worry, there's no one here. You can tell me, you know I won't tell anyone what you say." I know I can trust Jo, but I remember what my mother said about me being banished if anyone heard.
"I can't tell you, I can't risk anyone knowing, as much as I want to." I explain to Jo, though I can't help but see the hurt on his face. "I trust you with my life, but I can't take the risk of being banished."
"Banished? Where did you hear that from?" he asks, turning so that both his legs are dangling off the same side of the branch. He stares at me intently, waiting for an answer, but when I don't answer him he continues. "Ahna, nobody's ever been banished. Why would they start now? Besides, it's just a rumor parents spread to make us behave the way they want." He stops again and watches my reaction, but my face doesn't give away anything.
"You don't know that." I say, keeping my gaze locked with his.
"Either way, I know what I would do if I were you." He boasts. "I would be a warrior; the bravest in the whole clan. I know, I don't get a choice; I have to be whatever the elders give me. But why do you girls get to choose? It's not fair."
"Hush Majolah, be quiet! Even if banishing is just a rumor, I don't want to see it happen to you." I urge him not to talk that way, but he continued.
"What makes you guys so superior? If I ran the clan, it would be equal. Boys and girls both get to choose. Wouldn't that be amazing?! Imagine how much better it would be. No one would be left out, or upset about their future; everyone would be where they wanted to be. I can change the course of history; make our future generations better than the last." Jo continued with vigor; determined to be seen and heard; not swept aside just because he's a boy.
I realized then that no matter what I said, he wouldn't listen. I had to do something to make him stop. I reached over and put my hand over his mouth. "Shush, boy, shush!" I tell him, calling him a boy; insulting him, but making him listen. "You know what the elders would do if they heard you talking about this! Don't continue! Don't make me turn you in...please. You know as well as I do that I am bound to tell them the truth. If they ask about you I will have no choice but to tell them. Please, don't make me." I beg him, unwanted tears coming to my eyes.
I turn my face away from him, not allowing him to see them; not wanting to appear weak. To appear weak is to appear like a male; unworthy of a place in the clan, unable to pick your future. "I have to go, I'm sorry." I tell Jo as I climb down from the tree.
The second my feet hit the ground, I run home as fast as I can. Luckily, I and my mom live on the outskirts of town; I run through the trees, avoiding the village. When I reach home my tears are gone, no trace of them left. I head upstairs and go to my room, the whole way thinking of my choice; what will I do, what should I do, what fits me? Most importantly: who am I?
Am I a warrior? Am I a builder? Am I a medicine healer? Am I a caretaker? Am I a teacher? Or am I a leader?
YOU ARE READING
Choices and Consequences
Pertualangan"I've lived this way my whole life; out in the woods, just me and mom in our tiny community. Until now." Savahna has grown up knowing only what the community has told her, including all of the lies, but when she is faced with something outside of an...
