RED

23. Lavender

Love has no errors, for all errors are the want for love.
by William Law

For some unexplained reason, that right there was perfect. That very moment. That very time. Kiana wished more than anything for this period to last but then again, it was only a wish.

He knew he wanted her the moment his lips collided with hers and his heart thumped so loudly that he felt he could collapse any moment. Kiana was perfect. She was perfect for him. He thought he had gotten over the feelings he had for her in the past, but it turned out, he never really did. Somehow, they built up and when they met years later, it just grew firmer. Her lips were soft. He didn't want to stop. They didn't want to stop. Taking a slight break from the kiss, his forehead rested on hers, as their eyes remained slightly shut. His fingers gently and softly caressed her cheek. He had a lot to say. He wanted to say a lot. He felt overwhelmed by emotions, nothing like ever before, so he gave his first shot at speaking.

"I..." He started, his voice sounding a bit rough and shaky. The present excitement took a great toll on his entire functioning system.

Kiana waited patiently to hear what he had to say, as her arms remained around his waist. She barely looked him in the eyes. She barely even opened her eyes, too scared that this might all be a dream. A beautiful and wonderful dream that should never end.

"I..." As he attempted once more to state out his feelings, an unpleasant memory from his past, back in high school, when he actually gathered enough courage to confess his feelings to her, but was turned down. Later on, he was left with almost the entire school laughing at him. Their laughter sounded so real as it echoed in his ears, as well as his head, over and over again causing him to slightly furrow his brows and eventually, he withdrew his head away from hers.

Kiana felt something was wrong, especially with the way he leaned his head backwards away from her, so she opened her eyes. As she looked up to him, a little confused and disappointed, all she could see was him staring back down at her. The expression on his face was quite unreadable.

Enrico knew what was happening. His fears had taken over. His fear of being the only one in love. A one-sided love. The question of what if she didn't see him the same way as he did with her? What if he was in for another heartbreak? What if the kiss right there was just all a trick of him having taken her by surprise? So many what ifs that it scared him. He had been through a heartbreak earlier. He didn't know if he'll be able to take it one more time. Somehow, he'll just have to protect his heart.

She watched as his hand slowly left her face and eventually fell to his side. At first, all that took over was confusion as to why he was suddenly looking like a zombie, but when his other hand left her waist and fell to his side, disappointment eventually crept its way up. She couldn't understand a thing. He was definitely at the verge of saying something to her, but everything had suddenly changed. She watched as he lowered his eyes away from hers, as he took a few steps backward, also burying a hand into the pocket of his trouser.

She pictured herself taking bold steps to catch up with him and demand he give an explanation for giving her such a splendid kiss and suddenly back away, but that was all she could do, picture that scene. Imagine herself doing that, but in reality, she didn't. Even if she made up her mind to do so, what would be her actual driving force? Why would she want what just happened a few moments ago, to continue? The real truth was that Enrico just did what she should have done, yet she stayed. She accepted his kiss and a deep part of her was ready to believe something much wonderful and beautiful existed behind that kiss. Was she wrong? What's wrong with her?

"I..." He started, once more looking anywhere else but at her. Her eyes remained on him, a part of her still wishing for a fairy-tale.

"... It's... It's getting late so... I'll just head upstairs... Goodnight." He managed to comment, amidst a few stuttering. He knew his voice didn't sound firm or affirmative, but he just kept going. He didn't want to take another look at her. Looking at her might cause him to give in, so he turned away from her and began making his way towards the stairs.