I English Assignment I did and fell in love with

Emotional Explosion of a Self Assured Trainwreck

just to clarify, i did 100% submit this as my final for my english assignment.

I sit here yet again letting my emotions take control of me. On my bed computer on lap as I sob tears of frustration because school is stupid. My headache getting worse because I've been staring at the screen for hours trying to get these D's to A's, but the grade never moves. The one moment I think I've got this assignment in the bag I fail it. The one time I decide to let the passions in my heart go to words I get a reminder on why I don't ever talk about them.

I dry the fresh tears rolling down my face as the old tears tighten my face up, I don't really care tho. I look up the definition of things before going on a long search to find a topic to write about. The first time it took 3 days. I had to think of a event to focus on and I couldn't pick the ones I wanted, I didn't feel like they fit the assignment. I guess I should've gone with my gut and stuck with the save route and completely took the advice. But whenever I decide something assignment wise and take my time with it, and let the creative part of my brain roll its ideas and take the advice that I find to be the most important, I usually ends in the worst case scenario, and I cry because I tried to hard.

I continue raking my brain at the many topics I can do. Telling myself that I'll find one. My mind keeps going back to the same idea, the one from before. I tell myself its not a option as the warm tears fall in the same pattern as the tears before it. I could do art. I think of all the descriptive things I could do with that. I could write a descriptive essay on how I feel painting and descripting my artistic process. My hands jolt from tab to word, the my hands freeze at the screen. I did a essay on art a few months ago. Describing my artistic process, I remember typing that the paint stormed the like a army of color walking on a blank battle field ready to claim new land. Well, that ideas gone.

My tears fill in my eyes again like a hot tub filling with water. Ready to bubble over. I reach for my phone to share my frustrations with my friends. Maybe they will have a idea. My eyes swell from tears as I type the situation, they both tell me to do the same thing: Revive the essay you did for your rough draft and turn it in. That I was frustrated for 3 days because of that rough draft.

My cries get harder as they say that because that advice has no help in it. I got a F from the rough draft, I don't want a F on a final draft.

I stop my thinking for a few minutes to calm my melt down, looking at my walls for comfort. I think to myself could I just do a descriptive essay on a scene in anime that I find cool? I could just put myself in the point of view of one of the characters. I decide not when I remember that none of them I really can make seem like I did it. Sword Art Online is the anime in my head at the moment because it was the last one I watched, and I can't make a descriptive essay on being stuck in a video game and being a front line member trying to beat the game.

Back to square one. I crack my knuckles in thought. I hear the mail trucks small wheels distinctive sound on the road outside. The small calming hum, maybe I could write a descriptive essay about how I feel roller skating. I roller-skate so often around my neighborhood that my mom bought me my own skates so I wasn't using hers. I think of how I would describe it before coming to the introduction sentence that would be "As the wheels spin on the ground, I close my eyes letting to cold air hit my face, my nose on fire despite being cold. As the chains of life loses it hold on me, and I soar away into my own reality." I type that into my word document and then I try and think about what else about roller skating I could say. Im not to good at it but its fun. The only descriptive ideas I could come up with was figurative. I sigh as I hold backspace letting all my words go away. My pitch was more figurative and I feel like figurative takes away from the point of view, instead of making a image of me skating, I'd be creating a image of feeling that relates little to how skating actually is.

I tap my fingers on my laptop. Changing my position yet again. Going to my phone telling my friends I still have nothing. This is harder then I thought. Maybe I could do a descriptive essay on my best friend and I favorite memory. That idea immediately goes away, my rough draft was about a memory with a person. Maybe I should just stay away from writing about people.

I go onto my phone trying to distract myself. Maybe if I don't think about it so hard my brain will figure it out by itself. I go in Instagram tapping the icons to watch people's story. After a minute I get frustrated. Its just people complaining about school and their grades, not distracting at all just reminding. I get off my phone throwing it across my bed in frustration before immediately checking to see if its okay. I could've let it sit there honestly, it fallen off my top bunk so many times that it would crack at a small bounce on my blanket. I rewrap myself up and think.

I try hard not to think as hard as I was but thinking hard about not thinking hard is thinking hard in the end. But whenever I think hard, I get a bad grade because then I get creative and go off the topic and do my own thing getting really upset at the failing grade on the screen I see because I tried so hard and thought it was amazing. The waterworks start again, and I cup my hands in my hair. Leaning over my keyboard letting out a small scream.

I sit back and just decide to start typing the first thing in my mind right now and make a essay out of that. I can be descriptive about a lot of things; this shouldn't be different. I begin typing starting with "I sit here yet again letting my emotions take control of me" Oh well, I guess we are going with a descriptive essay on the pain of rewriting a descriptive essay you thought was great. I wipe my tears as I begin typing. Hopefully it turns out good.