Sweetly biting

3.

Tobirama:

On Christmas Day, I woke up in a cold sweat. Fuck... It's today...

And I went out for a run as I had planned. I thought about my brother all the way, let the memories wash over me, not only the good ones from our childhood but also from that night when he...

I ran for half an hour, to my gym, where I lifted weights for two hours before running back home to my mansion where I took a shower and then sat in my sauna to dry. I loved soaking in the sauna. The woody smell, the suffocating heat... It compressed me to nothing, to something insignificant in this world and I could just. Breathe for a while.

But today, I couldn't relax. I was bouncing my leg up and down, wheezing through my teeth in the heat. Twenty years... Twenty years ago today.

"You should have kept your fucking mouth shut."

His bulging eyes, taking contact with mine, pleading for help.

Me, at age eleven, unable to do anything.

A kick in the ribs of his dead body.

"This is what happens when you talk."

I put my head in my hands and silently wept, alone in my sauna.

"Mr. Senju..."

I looked up from my wing. I smiled warmly at my assistant coming up to me. I liked him. He was middle-aged and warm, although a bit money-hungry, and had been on my team for two years now.

"It's about the New Year's charity concert." I was quiet, indicating for him to go on. "We have a singer that will sing with your piano."

I stopped dead.

What?

What?!

I looked at my assistant, furious. He looked away, a cold-sweat breaking loose on his forehead. As it should...

"I know you only do solo but... But the money was great. It will be good for you!"

I gave him a death-glare, and I knew he got it. I knew he knew he was fooling himself. I didn't care about money. And even if I did, I had millions upon millions stacked in funds all over the world. I had more money than I could use up in ten lifetimes. No, my assistant knew the money would be good for him.

I never understood that. I never understood any of that. He only got a fraction of my salary, but even so, I knew he was extremely well-off. It wasn't as if he was poor with a sick child to take care of. No matter how much I liked this man, I despised his love for money.

I shook my head. I'm not doing it.

"I'm sorry", he said. "The contract is sealed."

I felt bile rise in my mouth. So much for giving proxy of signing contracts to someone else... Never again.

No words could describe how much I didn't want this.

Would turn out, though, that no words could describe how much I did want this.

Oh, I wanted it so badly.

So desperately.