The life of Stitches

1/31/15_Introduction

Hi, my names Stitches, I’m 14 years young; I was born in November, on the 19th. I am going to write a kind of diary in here I guess. So, let me tell you about myself.

My name is Scarlett Jones, but everyone calls me Stitches. (I’ll tell you about the nickname later.) I live in Montgumery, Alabama. I have a ver strong accent. I’m a 14 year old depressed, bipolar, suicidal, self-harming girl. Fun right? Wrong! It’s horrible. I’m always angry, or exited. Depressed or happy. It sucks being depressed and bipolar. Cos if I’m happy at the time or not, I’m always depressed in a way.  My parents got divorced when I was younger, and since then, my dad has been married again. He was also going to move to England with his new girlfriend after he got divorced the 2nd time, but they broke up just before he was about to leave, so he didn’t go. Me and my mom don’t get along very well. We can get along at times, but usually, we just really don’t like each other. I do cut, but not for attention like other people say. It’s because of 7 reasons:

·         The physical pain masks the emotional pain for a short time.

·         I feel I deserve it.

·         I want to die but I can’t, so this is the next best thing.

·         I feel lonely all the time.

·         This one’s kind of weird but, I like the blood and I like to see the scars.

·         I get told to do it. Both by people, and voices in my head.

·         I’m always alone.

I don’t think cutting is a good thing at all, and I wouldn’t say I “enjoy” it, I just feel it is necessary and it helps for a short while. I started cutting when I was 10. And before that, I started doing other kinds of self-harm. Though I didn’t realize it. The methods I used from the age of 7 were:

·         Hitting my head against hard objects. E.g. Walls, tables, poles, etc.

·         Hair pulling.

·         Slapping/punching myself in various places. E.g. Face, arms, legs.

·         Pinching myself.

·         Verbal abuse towards myself. E.g. “Dumb”, “Useless”, “Worthless”, “Unloved”, “Unwanted”, etc.

Later I started getting called those names by other people, and that’s when I started cutting.

Now back to the nickname, “Stitches,” I get called Stitches because one time I got a nasty cut on my leg, and I sewed it up myself with a needle and thread. I got called Stitches by everyone from that day forward. I used to get called Scar, but I was always uncomfortable with that name for obvious reasons.

I guess that’s all you need to know right now. But if you have any questions, just ask.                     Stitches xx