Bryan and Coonicus: The Bromance

Byran and Coonicus: The Bromance

In a small somewhat seasoned town in California, a fellow with a big booty resided, his name was Bryan. Bryan was loved by all his friends, but he longed for something deeper, something or someone he could really love. On the other side of the pond, in the land of knives and Tesco, lived Coonicus. Coonicus was beautiful, he was buff and tough, girls were jealous of his chest size, he had a reddish brown beard and it was stunning.  Coonicus was not only based, but highly redpilled and he spent most his time in a place full of larpers and teenage boys who liked monkeys and slurs, this place was known as Politigram. One faithful day, Bryan stumbled across Politigram and the two chads crossed paths. Bryan and Coonicus locked eyes and for a moment, time stopped, both of them knew there was something different about this.

 The eye contact between the two was so powerful, it miraculously enabled telekinesis between them and they started communicating. 

"Coonicus, you are the most stunning human I have ever encountered, I must see you again."

"My dearest Bryan, I have never layed my eyes on such a big  bootied black man before, and may I say your smile is to die for"

"I have a plane ticket to Maccies, I will met you there tomorrow at sunset"

So the time passed by, and Bryan and Coonicus were together in the bromantic setting of a British McDonald's parking lot. "You are the Abby Lee to my Miller," exclaimed Bryan "I want to be chads with you, for the rest of our lives." Coonicus looked Bryan in the eyes and smiled in agreement. Bryan reached out to give Coonicus an epic poggers brofist, but a split second before he could, a mental Skyrim NPC jumped out from the bushes. He was holding a knife. 

"The next person to move their left arm, will be killed." said the Skyrim NPC. Bryan, in a state of sheer panic, looked at Coonicus as a tear fell from his eye. Coonicus being extremely based quickly uttered " I don't even need my left arm, left is always wrong anyway. Get owned libreals." The Skyrim NPC in all his shock, disintegrated on the spot. Coonicus smiled at the setting sun and put his arm around Bryan. " You... you saved me" said Bryan, as he was holding back tears. Coonicus looked at Bryan and shook his head, " I didn't save you, Big Chungus did." They looked behind themselves and saw the shadow of a fat rabbit, and than it disappeared into the sunset. 

Coonicus and Bryan were never seen apart since.