𝙞𝙣𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙡𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙦𝙪𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙨

《carnid》

Carl: I'm thinking a spring wedding, or maybe fall. I don't want it to be too cold though.

Enid: We aren't engaged?

Carl: OH FUCK THAT'S WHAT I FORGOT TO DO LAST NIGHT!

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

Carl: The concept of crushes is ludicrous. Imagine feeling so many emotions for one single person. Couldn't be me.

Enid: [smiles at him]

Carl: [blushes beet red, stumbles over his feet, sputters as he's unable to speak, butterflies fill his stomach]

Enid:

Carl: P-please never interact with me ever again.

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎
Carl: I CANT FIND MY GIRLFRIEND!

Stranger: What does she look like?

Carl, sobbing: BEAUTIFUL!

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

Enid: Take me to art museums and make out with me.

Carl: But they said to not touch the masterpieces.

Enid: Well somebody's gotta pin the artwork to the wall.

*30 minutes later*

Daryl: *on the phone with Rick* This is Daryl, those idiots are fucking in the east wing again.

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

Michonne: So how's motherhood treating you?

Enid: Good. I didn't expect this much crying, though.

Rick: Don't worry, it's normal for babies.

Enid: What? Oh no, the baby is fine. I was talking about Carl.

Carl, sobbing from the nursery: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

Maggie: why are you naked?

Enid: I don't have any clothes

Maggie, looking through Enid's wardrobe: what are you talking about? you have a leather jacket, jeans, tops - hi Carl - shorts...

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

Carl: all odd numbers have n ‘e’ in them.

Enid: Carl, its three A.M

Carl: t-h-r-E-E

Enid, throwing a pillow at him: GO TO SLEEP

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

Enid: [to Maggie] I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Carl once asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight.

[A little later]

Carl: What kind of animal is the pink panther?

Enid, already taking off her clothes: Carl, you’re so fucking stupid.

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

*Carl and Enid looking for a house in a world with no walkers*

Carl, sighing: I didn’t wanna do this but there’s one way to get the money we need to buy this house

Enid: yeah; you make a decent prostitute

Carl: Excuse me, Enid, I would make an amazing prostitute! but that’s not what I’m talking about

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎