A Hopless Romantic's Diary

Winter air

It was cold, and the winter winds carried light dusts of snow, as it whispered down the street. It was late, or at least it felt late, because it was so dark. Yet he was out there shoveling snow. He was never out this late. But that was none of my buissnes, he wasn't my buissnes.

"Ready to head out pooch?" I asked the ball of energy beside me. She yaped eagerly, and we left.

"What are you two ladies doing out on such a chilly night?" he asked mischievously, leaning on his shovel. He smirked, he knew me too well, he knew that I didn't want, or like being out in this weather.

"I could ask you the same question, frosty" I winked cheekily, giving the leash slack so my pup could stop trying to choke herself. She wanted his attention almost as much as I did, but it was easier for her to get it. He knelt down and she rushed toward him.

"Same as you I guess, getting what needs to be done done," he chucked, petting my dog.

"Well, I guess we shoud head out now, we've got a walk to finish," I politeley excused myself and my dog.

Just as we were out of ear shot we neared the feild that we usualy walked in. I watched the moon and stars shiver in their wintery blue lights. My breath as fogging as my dog ran and chased the snow she pushed as she ran. In that moment, watching the stars, the only thing I needed to make this moment perfect was him. I just needed to be in his warm, strong, comforting arms and feel the warmth he always had. But it would never happen.

Then I herd a the crunching of snow behind me. I looked over my shoulder to see him running his hand though his hair, and his shoulders hunched as he truged through the snow. He had this look, a mixture of regret, embarasment, determination and hesitation. I had seen this look so many times before, when he was about to take a dare, pick a fight or do something equally stupid. But that face was mostly seen when he was going to approach a girl. It made me kind of nervous, but I didn't ask him I didn't have the time. He grabbed me around the waist and kissed me. I could feel his arm around my waist as his other hand traveled up my back and to cradle my head. His lips were warm and gentle, and his arms, they were firm and strong. My hands traveled up his chest and around his neck deepening the kiss and pulling him closer. It seemed to go on for ever, but I needed to think. I pulled away and looked him in the eye, then grabed the leash, which I had dropped. I turned and was making my way back to my house when he grabed my arm.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that. But you are never alone," he pulled me back slowly.

I chuckled, an almost bitter laugh at the irony of his statement. "All you had to do was ask." He kept pulling gently until his chest rested against my back. Slowly, almost hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around my waist and nuzled his face in my neck.

"I didn't want to lose what we already had," he muttered, his warm breath dancing on my neck. I closed my eyes and soaked in the moment.

When I opened them I was greeted with the sight of my furry friend licking my face and a knot of pajama clad limbs and blanket. I groaned, of course it was a dream, seeing him was always a dream.

It had snowed 60 cm that night, no school. Maybe he would be out shoveling today.