Hello and welcome to a book consisting of Steven Universe! The chapters range from headcanons, to short stories, and mostly angst. And ships. Have fun reading! (half of this is angst i lied, lapis is my son, garnet should be ruby x sapphire's ship name byeeeee) #136 in Fanfiction 10/21/16 #1 in Steven Universe 4/6/17...
"Give me ten days, and I can give you ten reasons not to die." Evan paused. "And if I can't change your mind by then, you can go jump off that cliff."
"Hello?" "Um, hey?" "Wait, you don't sound like my Aunt Kathy." "Unless I was miraculously converted into a member of the opposite gender and somehow related to whoever is on the other side of this call, then yeah. I'm not your Aunt Kathy." "Oh, shiitake mushrooms." ...
"This is Westerden Optometrist. What are your symptoms?" "For starters, my eyesight has been super blurry and distorted, and this problem is starting to screw up seventeen-year-old life. Speaking of which, you sound kind of young for an optometrist. How old are you?" "Um, I don't think it'd be the greatest idea for th...
"Hello?" "Why do '24 hours, 7 days a week' shops have locks on their doors?" "Uh-" "Why is the meaning of life hard to find when we have dictionaries?" "Um perso-" "Why is the word 'abbreviation' so long?" "I dont kno-" "If a cow laughed really hard would milk c...
