Pranks, Pajamas and Pretty Bad Puns

"eBay is pretty useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches," I laughed, nervously as his hot breath fanned my face. His breathing was rough and he bore through me with his electric green eyes. "I want to fucking kill you right here. Right now." he growled. He sounded like a werewolf. Imag...