Funny texts

Unlimited funny jokes guaranteed to make your day! Credits to whoever made these jokes.

The Suicide Hotline | ✔︎

"Is this...the...suicide hotline?" "I...um, yes?" "...Are you asking or telling?" "...Telling?" "What would you do if I told you I wanted to die?" "I would beg you not to." "Would you, stranger? Would you really?" "I would." Aurora Glass was raised in a sleepy town, completely sheltered from the darker things in life...

Wrong Number Included | ✔

"Aurel?" "I told you I'm not a girl" "Well, since I haven't seen you, your sexuality is not confirmed" "You want me to send you a pic of my penis?" "tempting but no" #1 in short story [7/22/16] Book Two From Texts and Calls Series © Copyrights Reserved This book was edited by @LunaValdez24

Once Upon a Bathroom Stall

❝I- what? What are you talking about? Who is this?❞ ❝Well the bathroom stall says that this number is the gateway to a good time, and unless you're trying to say that a bathroom stall is lying to me, I think I need a little more information to be sold. Do you have like a yelp page I could look up? Past customer review...

When Trouble Meets Trouble

After an amusing banter at the library with a mysterious guy, Savannah hopes that it's the last she'll see of the bickering boy. Come to find out, he's a new student at her school who just so happens to be a junior, much like Savannah. He feels the need to stick around her even though she is the target for childish ru...

Hit List

Bree Portman has a rather unusual job. She is paid to kill people, and her next target is the one and only Elijah Lancaster - her ex-best friend. He is known to be a man whore, and it seems that he 'accidentally' slept with a married woman. Now, someone wants him dead, and she has to get rid of him. Elijah is always...