Human Philosophy Experiment

I asked myself such questions, wondering what can I make out of it, am I truly lost in the beautifullllll way of life, or am I just insecure about myself. Is it melancholy that is weighing me down? Or Is it expectations that I truly don't know exist that is doing it instead. Am I truly loved by my family, friends, teachers and by extension- the world? How can I know I'm still the best version of myself when I'm stuck in self doubt and misery that no one know who had caused me? Am I already the best me when no one knows, not even me?
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Ouh, this is a... vent fic I think, or is it just me wondering how other people think, dunno know lol. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯