Love's Twisted Fate

Dionysus attempted to kill a mortal after the man spoke blasphemously against his good name. Unbeknownst to the god, the mortal was Pothos in disguise, the god of desire and longing. In response, Dionysus sent a nest of snakes to the man's bed, leaving a note and thinking this would be the end of it. Enraged by this act, Pothos cursed Dionysus to experience eternal longing for the first person he encountered. Unfortunately, that person turned out to be a man named Adam, a mortuary cosmetologist. Yeah, not his first pick either, gurl.

While Dionysus often felt attraction for many of his worshipers and this usually would not be a problem, this connection with Adam went deeper than mere attraction. From that day forward, the god of wine found himself unwillingly sympathizing with teenage girls who had intense crushes on school jocks, and he grew to despise the "butterflies" that fluttered in his stomach. So, what great plan did the god of madness have? Shift into a mortal, pray to Cupid that the male is at least bisexual, and try to get a date. Instead of just asking for a number, because they don't do that in soap operas, do they now?