--Lost-Soul--

I felt like a send off was a lil too cliche of me, but here we are once more, except I think I'm ready now.
          
          Sometimes I guess I just thought this app was the last thing keeping me alive.
          
          But now I feel like an intruder, I feel guilty for typing this or posting anything here, I don't know.
          
          I just wish I died and never spoke again. I'd rather just be an annoying memory. I just think I don't want to hold onto things I love anymore. I just wanna disappear, dead or alive. I wish I was nothing. Not bc "Oh MB then I wouldn't hurt ppl or get hurt." I just wish I never existed, then pain would be something imaginary to me. Absolutely nothing. I wish I could just lay down under the trees and watch moss grow for years and never move. I rather be a tree with no ties.
          
          Nothing against anymore here, sometimes you get too tired too think about that things you miss, it makes you wanna just become nothing, at least for me. Tempted to just delete everything. Not just books but everything. Make it so nothing ever happened, I was never happy, I never existed here, bye. That's about it.
          
          It hurts but that's ok :P

The only good thing about my uncommon deadname is that it's in a popular movie that EVERYONE quotes (even my high school English teacher in front of the whole class... none of the kids probably got it...) SO HOUSE SAID MY NAME HEHEHHEHEHEH. Deadname is my dedaname but not? It's just a name, just like name calling idc. The only thing that really hits me with dysmorphia is my voice and maybe... My body fat, but that's another story.

"So what was the plan? I'd feel so humbled, by missing a case... that I'd re-evaluate my entire life, question the nature of truth and goodness, become Cameron?"
          
          "Something like that... More that if we told you the truth, that you'd solved a case based on absolutely no medical proof, you'd think you were God. And... I was worried your wings would melt."
          
          "God doesn't limp."

"Our relationship is addiction, it's like-."
          
          "Really good drugs?"
          
          "No, it's like vindaloo curry. Really Really hot Indian curry they make with chili peppers."
          
          "I know what it is. I didn't think it was addictive."
          
          "You're abrasive and annoying and come on way too strong, like vindaloo curry. And if your crazy about curry, that's fine. But no matter how much you love curry, you have too much of it, it takes the roof of your mouth off, and they you never wanna see curry for a really long time. But you wake up one day and you think... God... I really miss curry... You're a jerk."
          
          "I know. If you hadn't have a fight with Mark."
          
          "For once in your life, can you just shut up."

ANOTHER KUYA VIDEO, I  CANT I CAN'T  XIJWJSBWISKENSNE. AAAAAAAA EEEEEEE HEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHE
          
          KUYAAAAAA AAAA I can't I can't I cantttttt watch it, I NEED it. IT IS THE BLOOD IN MY VEINS, I CANNOT SJSNHSJWS The ovulation horny is gonna hit in a day or two and I'm gonna be chewing at the damn sheets, I go mf crazzzzy. Hornyyyyyfor my Kuya AAAHSVS EEEE HEHEHHR

THIS IS WHY I CANT WRITE SMUT SCENES. I get so horny from my own writing. I mean... that means it's good... right...? I REALLY NEED to someone to look over my writing bc like... I NEED REASSURE EVERY 2 MINS OR I CAN'T WRITE ((ﾟ□ﾟ;))

"This is your life. You can't live it for her."
          
          "I love her."
          
          OMG OH MY FUCKING GOD. AND WHEN HOUSE RELATED TO IT. Fuck he's doing drugs again. My lil druggieeee, just can't live with her, can't be sober without her. HE WANTS TO LIVE FOR HER, EVEN IF IT HURTS EVERYDAY, EVEN IF THE ONLY WAY TO STIFFLE HIS PAIN IS THROUGH DRUGS THWT DESTROY HIS MIND AND BODY. HE LITERAL CAN'T BE SOBER BC OF THE WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS TOO, UGH MY SWEETIE. Let lil ol' Lucas give ya the suck that beats the zuck. Sucking some fucking drugs straight from the source, A ZING! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

Watching House says it's OK for his ex-wife to work at his work place AFTER she said "You're the one. You'll always be the one." But she stays with her husband. And then he tries to walk fails and takes a pain medication he stole. THAT'S MY FAV LIL DRUG ADDICT. I WISH I DIDN'T RELATE TO HIS MAN. Also save him from his ex wife, she literally said "You're right, I'm not over you." LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN????? YOU HAVE A NEW HUSBAND??? This is why I can't date because imagine marrying them and You're not the one... like you're the lucky one, you get her, but House will always have her heart, and there ain't nothing you could ever do. You love someone who loves you, but buried in their heart is their first love. OSBDGISHDUSV Kinda poetic but like ugh, my heart. Tis it aches for loove

Period horny. JUST GINMIE SOME DIXK I JUST NEED A BIG OLD HOG FOR FUCKS SAKE. 
          
          I wanna dress up and get fucked in 26 different ways. Basically, just stick a dick in my ear and fuck my brains out bc sodhusbdusbsdhhdhd. I WANNA BITE A DICK, NOM NOM. GIMMMIIIIIIEEEEEE

Kuya: "You're not scared?"
          
          Eiden: "What? Want to see me shaking in my boots?"
          
          Me: Oh come on this is only a room 2 scene, this is like fluff lvl 
          
          
          OMG, SAVE EIDEN, HE'S GONNA FUXKING DIE. Ahhhhhhh
          
          
          Am I gonna watch it still?  Yesh
          
          Do I feel all the blood rushing to my face... maybe it's just a skin condition so... The shivers too...
          
          
          
          I CAN'T HELP IT KUYA SCARES ME AND... that's the best part, that's it he just scares me, he's amazing. Shiver me timbers ♡~♡