b.k.f

on here to rant and express my feelings!!! i have never really thought about actually having to grow up and having responsibilities, but it really sucks. i hate being a grad student & having NO money and having to ask my parents to have to help with rent :/ like i feel so behind in life and i wish i could just stop being a burden to everyone around me honestly & it sucks. i also feel so angry towards everyone lately and i just hate being around people ??? like i am so argumentative, rude, short, and bitchy??? idk im just disgusted with myself but i literally don’t have patience and im just having a hard time. idk what else to explain, except im ranting on my wattpad acc lmao!!! 

ok so i cant physically make myself finish spn. ik fake fan but i got to season 15, freaked out, then restarted it again. its truly my comfort show & i really can’t see it end soooooooo, im not finishing it. i dont think ill ever finish it bc that means it goes away. also, Jensen is going to be in Charlotte in October & im tempted to pay 200 dollars for a picture. oops! 

also think im going to plan on getting a TLOU tattoo? crazy but i don’t know, it’s just something that i really want. i want the first lines of future days in my dad’s handwriting and the moth on joel’s guitar beside it. but i want the moth to be smaller and fitting beside the handwritten lyrics. but i need my dads writing to be neat lmao. but it’s a cool tat idea right? a great video game that literally shattered me but also made me fall in love with it. and i just want to relate it to my dad and family too. idk. hopefully it’s not stupid 

sooooooooo. haven’t been reading, mostly watching TLOU. in love with Pedro pascal, he has taken over my life and tiktok. But he was my mando and Peña before he was Joel. but he is my Joel (the real life version). but i still love Troy baker and his Joel voice. That is all. But I’m trying to read again. Don’t know what to read. trying out TLOU fabrication but not super successful. oh well! 

well. i dived into my TLOU obsession. watched playthrough’s a LONG time ago but couldn’t really remember everything. did remember the giraffe scene but anyways. decided to watch the show, made me watch more playthrough’s. now, im stuck here listening to Joel’s song that he sings to Ellie. in tears. sobbing. the golf club scene, Ellie and Joel’s last convo, the space ship scene, Ellie telling Joel he’ll never forgive him, then Joel still protecting Ellie even when she hated him. i am SHATTERED. idgaf, that man never deserved what happened to him. abby can ROT. the fireflies would’ve done nothing but killed Ellie, never got a cure, and left Joel in shambles. but instead, here i am, in shambles. naughty dog, count your days. thank you! 

i need to delete this app it’s ruining my mental health and creating delusions in my head. also need to do the same for tiktok too. i am creating fantasies in my head and it’s not okay for me. like Harry Styles, Niall Horan, or Matty Healy will never fall in love w me. fr. like be BFFR rn. this isn’t a joke anymore i cannot partake in these activities any longer 

okay everyone. so, when I first got Wattpad. THIS WAS STRICTLY FOR 1D fan fiction. i still read my 1d fan fiction to THIS day. but i just realized how much i miss these boys together. like really. they RULED my life for so long and i just wish they would have a reunion so i could cry like a 13 yr old girl again. so please, one direction get back together so you can end world hunger, start world peace, and make every fangirl happy again. but it’s great seeing all the solo careers for the boys bc harry is literally taking over the world? And Niall just teased a song that sounds JUST like grapejuice???? ok fr but i still love 1D and idc. bye. 

posting on here bc I’m bored. Just finished a REALLY good book called Work For It, literally finished in less than a day. But let’s get started with my current obsession, the 1975. I’ve liked them since 2014 because I found them on 8tracks whenever I was listening to all the dedicated playlists on there lol. But I never truly realized how much I liked them until now when BFIAFL came out. I am so incredibly obsessed it’s not funny. I’ve been listening to them nonstop, like for 2 months now at least. So that’s what I’m going through right now. But I’m just happy to be reading again! 

hi to the 3 followers i have bc i cannot write and only hop on here when i'm in the mood to read. speaking of being in the mood to read, i've read about 4 stranger things fanfictions. and WOW all of them made me want to rewatch stranger things. so, i'm currently on season 3 (my fav season idc what anyone says). but, it makes me so excited to read & fall in love w steve & billy all over again. so shoutout to the books in my stranger things list, you've served me well. but, going to move onto spn. i'm trying so hard to rewatch and finish all of it, i love spn but i can't get past like season 11-12. i know #fakefan but i just don't want the show to end for me. which makes me not want stranger things to end either. i don't like when my favorite shows end. it's sad. but can we talk about season 4 of stranger things??????? vecna being 001??? plus it's terrifying? poor chrissy. her death hurt me. really i was so shocked. duffer brothers had me sat!

logged back into this and said wtf was i on