Jason

@-CausticToxicity- I'm not sure how to answer your questions. However, I do know that you need time to grieve after losing someone you love. Take the time to let out your emotions and heal.

I'm tempted to keep going out of boredom. Burden whoever reads this with everything I have welling up inside me instead of doing something productive. I could be finding a job right now. Maybe practice my art for once, practice piano, anything that would positively contribute to my future. But here I am, throwing myself a pity party.
            
            Do any of the others who have lost feel like this? Am I just being dramatic? It feels like I am sometimes but that thought doesn't get rid of any of it.

I feel terrible for even venting about it. I feel terrible every time I wake up and look around at the mild mess in my room. I hate being in other rooms, going to stores, having to go to the fucking bathroom. I hate being awake. I hate being asleep. And the worst part of it all is the lack of understanding. I genuinely can not wrap my head around my emotions.
            
            All of this shit I'm typing and I'm still worrying about my grammar. Such a small thing to focus on. Like, what's even the point? There's probably only a few people who will even read this, let alone care about where I'm putting my fucking commas. Jesus.
            
            I wanna punch something. Real hard. I want it to hurt.

May she find peace wherever she may reside

@-CausticToxicity- 
            
            May You who are the source of mercy shelter them beneath Your wings eternally, and bind their souls among the living, that they may rest in peace. And let us say: Amen.
            
            Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May their souls and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.
            
            While I myself am not a holy man, I feel it fitting. I hope she is able to find peace wherever she is now, and I'm sure she is looking down on you and protecting you...

@The-Last-Hunter Only 49.

My mind was made up when she was diagnosed. Cancer is almost always fatal. I figured it wasn't going to be long until she was gone. I didn't even think she would attempt treatment in the first place, not that the choice mattered in the end. I've been having nightmares of her dying for the last year or so, to the point I feel like I could've prevented all of this.
            
            The night before we called an ambulance for her, I had to help my dad lift her onto their bed because she was slumped against the floor, barely even lucid. He told me she took some new medicine or something but I was scared. I told him to take her to the hospital just in case.
            
            He said he'd go in the morning. I don't remember the reason and I don't think it really matters. All I remember is the anger I felt. I remember telling him I'd break his nose if she died in that bed overnight.
            
            Where is that passion now? I don't know where it went and that scares me. Is it just acceptance? I don't know. I just don't. 

I've lived my life believing myself moral. But I'm always open to being proven wrong. And I have been. Many times, just like any other person. 
            
            Never to this scale. 

@-CausticToxicity- Spend as much time with her as you can. I would say pray for her, but I don't know if you're a holy man or not. Even though I don't know her or you, I'll keep you both in my thoughts.

@-CausticToxicity- You have my condolences as well.  I wish you luck, and I hope things start looking up for you soon.

I hope that she isn’t suffering, and I give you my condolences. Cancer sucks

@-CausticToxicity- definitely go spend time with her, most things aren't missed until you finally and fully process that it's gone and never coming back.  Make the best of the time she has while she still has it.

@-CausticToxicity- go spend time with her mate, the lot of us will be here for you when it happens, besides screaming into a caring void is better then nothing

@-CausticToxicity- Fuck man, I'm sorry. My uncles got cancer right now. It's a whole crazy process, and every day, it's something new. Just try your best to stay strong, yeah? It's what she would want.

@-CausticToxicity- Make amends, tell her you love her, and when its time, live if not for yourself, then for her

No matter what happens, don't let it halt your life. 

@-CausticToxicity- keep living life with a heart full of love. I know it sounds cheesy, but hold on to all the love you have. Never give up on life, even if life gives up on you

@-CausticToxicity- Oof, I'm sorry to hear that, no one deserves that kind of fate, wish of luck to your mom!

I'm sorry, it won't be pretty but if you lot caught it early you might be able to save her

I’m sorry, I hope they pull through. I’ve lost family to cancer, and no one deserves it

@-CausticToxicity- Glad you're alright.

@-CausticToxicity- Glad it wasn't too bad. MVA's can be awful for everyone involved. 

@-CausticToxicity- hes him

@-CausticToxicity- Happy late birth. Mine is on the same day lmao

Happy birthday, and I never thought I would see it said like that lol

@-CausticToxicity- penetrational-legal is the wildest way I've ever heard it be said, and honestly, I'm down for it.