-Desert_Bird-
this message may be offensive
(Vent)
Admin Kun: so I'm feeling like shit rn. As you may know I am bigender meaning I am a mixture of two genders for me I am a mixture of male and female. I was born female and like a feminine appearance (dresses/skirts, makeup even though I suck at putting it on, just in general feminine features) but am SO much more comfortable with male pronouns.
I came out to my mother (who has told my father) 1. Whole. Year. Ago. And I have told them multiple times to call me by my preferred name and pronouns when my siblings are in bed and they listen for like that one night and then completely stop every night after and it's just so damaging to my self-esteem but they don't even seem to care that much or at least my dad doesn't seem to care.
Whenever I get called by my dead name or am talked about with female pronouns when my siblings are in bed the only way I can think to describe it is I feel like I'm not being respected or not even like I'm in my own body. Like I'm living another humans life and I know if I keep going like this I won't do well cause I'm already an inch away from just ending it all.
I don't want to end it all but all of this is too much for me I just want it to stop. But nothing I've done has helped if anything my most recent attempt has just made me feel worse cause of how they reacted to the idea. At this point I wish I never got siblings cause all they've done so far is make my life even worse. I can't think of a single time they've made an impact on my life that wasn't negative.
I don't know what to do. I can't take this anymore.
-Desert_Bird-
@-emo_nightmare- Admin Kun: he said I haven't shown any signs of being bigender hence the worry. He said if I go to a therapist and they go "he's bigender" Then he'll be completely supportive and they'll talk to my siblings about it so I can always have my correct pronouns but for now we wait for my mom to find a therapist/therapists (we both probably need therapy)
