-Duck_Duck-

Me: comes out to mum
          Her: supporting me unconditionally telling me how proud she is off me asking me where I’m gonna put my flag and just taking it so incredibly well
          Me: surprised pikachu face

Ok a little happy update:
          I haven’t come out yet but I intend to with my friends moral support (aka her being there with me) tomorrow.
          I asked her if I could get my haircut short and she said yes! That’s on Tuesday the on Wednesday I go back to school. I really want to tell her by the end of holidays and it’s going ok so far.

I’m sorry but I really need to vent feel free to ignore this 
          Me:*orders a gf flag to help me come out to my mum, gets super hyped excited confident about it*
          Her: *walks in the door* did the post man come today??
          Me who woke up at 12 and didn’t know he was: uh im not sure
          *explains that i didnt know he was supposed to come today and that is only woken up late, and then she says that she supposedly yelled out to me as she was leaving at like 8 that he was coming today, mind you im like asleep when she did and I was asleep bc summer holidays and terrible night sleep from listening to you mutter about stuff I advised against up until 5am.*
          Her: proceeds to get mad at me and say I was lazy and that ofc I was asleep while she was out working hard (yes I picked up her dishes clothes makeup and a did my chores while she was gone as always)
          Me: (Alr maybe I can’t do this today I can do it tomorrow)
          Next day
          Me in bed at 8 as mums getting ready for work: yknow just minding my own
          Her coming into my room: we’ll thanks a lot for ruining this (it was some shein lingere that I’d picked up and put in the washing machine without putting it in an underwear bag first by mistake which was pretty much fine just had lint balls on it)
          Me: (haven’t been half awake for two minutes and I already think I can’t do it, maybe tomorrow..)
          Next day
          Finally catches up to me that those past two experiences have just crushed that confidence I had mere two days ago, gets up at 12, does chores, goes back to bed until mum gets back where I welcomed her home and went back to bed to just lay there contemplating life for the rest of the day. Couldn’t even be bothered…
          Next day
          Goes to nans house
          …
          I’m on like day 5 now what the fuck.

Mum: *walks in door*
          Me: hey mum how was wo-
          Mum: holy shit you’ve got an ass
          Me: wha-
          Mum: YOUVE GOT AN ASS
          Me: it’s just the jeans-
          Mum: BABY GOT BACK
          Me: no it’s just the jea-
          Mum: HONEY THATS NOT JUST JEANS, IM WEARING JEANS AN IM FLAT AS FUCK
          
          I fucking love my mum so much

I had a very emotional Boxing Day. 
          I went to my grandmas for family lunch. My mum stayed home. I went there and I was prepared to see my dad and his family for the first time in about 3 years. Along with plenty of my other family members.
          I expected to be resentful and quiet the whole time. But...when they walked in... I saw my two stepsisters, who the last time I’d seen them, they were little... now they were in the middle of primary school. They were so grown up and mature.
          My brother who I’d never met, he’s like 2... he was a bit shy but he said hi and all I could think was how beautiful he was.
          And my sister. I actually nearly cried. The last time I saw her, she was only a few months old. Now she’s nearly finished kindergarten, and she’s absolutely stunning. According to my grandma, she always talked about me, without even knowing me. She looked at me, and she was clearly overwhelmed by the amount of people, and when she was told it me, she came and cuddled up to me on the couch. She just held onto me. And it fucking broke me. Because just as much as my mothers said my dad hasn’t been there for me, I haven’t been there for her. The beautiful, innocent talented little girl who loved her sister who she hadn’t even met, and I left her behind.
          I’m considering asking my mum if I can start seeing my dad again because she needs to fucking realise that things change, and that that’s ok. They’ve taken the step to invite me, now I need to be brave and take that invite. Not because I’m scared of the invite, but because I’m scared of what the woman who raised me will say.
          It’s a big step, but I think after years and years, I might just be able to take it.

Cursed child is so gay.

I was watching Harry Potter for the first time in about a year and a half and I’m just remembering how fucking sarcastic harry is…
          This is only ps…and it’s only the movie…
          I might just reread the whole damn series for the sheer amount of passive aggressiveness

WHAT THE FUCK GUYS HES DONE IT THIS TIME.
          He asked to look at my hand so I gave him my hand and he kind of held it and I looked down at our hands and THS MOTHER FUCKER DECIDED TO TAKE 10 YEARS OF OFF MY LIFE AND LIFTED MY CHN UP WITH HIS OTHER HAND I CANNOT TODAY
          
          AND HE INDIRECTLY CALLED ME BEAUTIFUL 
          
          GET FUCKED IM HIGH I MUST BE ON SOME SHIT BRO

OKAY STORYTIME
          On Friday it was the last couple of minutes of class and we were playing celebrity heads.
          This girl in my year (popular kind off pickme but I get along fine with her) and she has to write a name above my head and instead of going to my side and writing it she had to take twenty years of my life and lean over me. And I’m just sitting there thinking about how gay I am.
          
          (I don’t like like here btw)

Me before watching howl’s moving castle: aw he looks cute
          Me during and after watching howls moving castle: HOLY HEAVENLY FATHER OH JESUS FUCK WHAT IN THE NAME OF SEXY BIRD MEN I JUST HOLY FUCK