-MCRismyescape

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why must i fuck up this bad?

-MCRismyescape

this message may be offensive 
We're two months in 2018 and:
          -ive lost a relationship
          -have hell from a previous relationship 
          -been accused of 'stealing' boyfriends???
          -lost 5 friends
          -had false rumors spread about me that i cant recover from 
          -found the person who did me wrong when i was 11...
          -felt...the urge...not good at all....
          -have new medication and it doesn't work for shit
          -might have the chance of being kicked out for being gay if my grandpa finds out
          -feeling like shit for not being good enough for my friends
          -craved death like im at golden corral. Except automatic death is dessert so everyone wants it. 
          
          And i said that 2018 was my year :/
          
          (I know that i post about things like this often but i feel like im a burden to people when i vent. Therefore i feel alone and i dont have anyone to vent to. I dont have a choice but to post it because i wish someone cared. But its as if no one does and im here having to suffer from the shit thats been happening that u cant see the good in anything anymore)

-MCRismyescape

The other day my friend and I were at the mall and this vending machine was selling water. The mahine said it was 40°f or so and it was about 6° outside. Im just like 'oh ok' but then I got hit with this question: 
          
          "What if you drank that water and went outside. Would you get warmer or would you be colder?
          
          I know its probably get colder but I never felt so high without being high in my life 
          
          (I dont get high lmao not in my christian mall)