Highschool is the best thing they said
Though its killing me, I almost relapsed mutilple times because of it
Don't worry, yet I am worried because I don't want to loose the things that relieve a little of the stress of school and yet I can't, it stresses me more cause I can't get myself to stop procrastinating.
The procrastination is starting to get me back, my grades are showing it
I am stressed, I am tired, I am falling back into a depressive state because of it and I can't handle it.
I've already cried a few times cause of school, I have already tried to sleep off everything. I have tried to destract myself but the things I love are starting to stress me. Everything is giving me stress and I don't know how to deal with it without upsetting my girlfriend and yet I don't know any other way to help myself.
I don't know how to go to my mother, I don't know how to talk to her and tell her I'm in pain, that I'm not okay.
I don't know how to go to someone and say 'I need help.' I was never taught its okay, it was given the impression to me that it isn't okay, that its going to cause more problems in some way.
I feel my chest getting heavier, I feel my body getting heavier and I want to just stay in bed again all day. I want to sleep and never wake up. I just want to silently leave out of existence but I have that one small group of people I care dearly about and I don't want to hurt them.
Though I just want to relieve, it was easy to recover during summer, now I don't know how to recover during school and I can't handle it much longer.
