this message may be offensive
It's been 2 days since I found out about Sulli. I love her to death. She introduced me to Korea, k-dramas, and k-pop through some drama she was in as a kid, I can't remember the name. From the very start, I loved her. I loved her acting, her voice, her personality, her smile, I loved everything. She introduced me to so many groups, artists, actors, and in many ways, she's the reason I'm alive today.
Before Sulli, I didn't pay attention to any bands, any music, any tv shows. I didn't have what I have now. There was no celebrities I looked up to, who inspired me to be a good person, who I could crush on like I do now. After my best friend killed himself, I had nothing to live for. I let myself go. I stopped talking. I made awful decisions. I got into fights. I hurt myself. I almost got addicted to weed before I finally pulled my shit together. I'm not proud of who I used to be, some low-life suicidal delinquent who was living just to hurt himself even more.
Sulli was the reason I changed. I got to know her outside of her characters. I watched videos of her playing with kids, saw pictures of her smiling with Taeyeon, listened to f(x)'s songs. She introduced me to Jonghyun, Red Velvet, IU, SNSD, etc. All of these people gave me a reason to live. It's probably pathetic that my reasons to live are watching grown men and women acting cute, dancing, and singing, but I don't care. Sulli gave me a reason to live, and I'll forever be grateful to her. Life sucks. It does. But the fact that a single person can change a suicidal delinquent so much just by being her beautiful, amazing self proves to me that maybe it's worth living.
She's so beautiful, so kind, so sweet, so funny, so amazing. She never deserved anything bad. She was an angel, one that deserved so much better. I wish she could see how many people care about her. I wish she could see how incredible she is. I'll never forget you or your beautiful smile. Thank you, Sulli. I love you so much.