the winter isn't here yet , i've waiting for it
Looking forward to it at times sometimes picking on the time before it comes
It's rare sensation but not an unfamiliar one
The cold inside me has come before it came for the sky or for the aching water
For those who are in desperate need of it
It has strike me the first
Has spread inside me in a way
Rather than me drowning it feels like its drowning inside me
Is that possible? Is it possible for who that drowns to drown?
I don't know
Sometimes I'm grounded to reality too firmly even if I demand escape , mercy I don't get it
That force me to beg mercy on my reality
I feel like a destroyer having destroyed alot around me using my own sharded pieces that can cut and make others bleed
Its my own sharded skin i've used to cut others
So most often I see myself destroying that flash and then those times when I can't see myself as only a flesh
I've always been one to want to be seen but I'm horrified of someone ever doing so
Afraid that the opened layers I cradle
were'nt ever supposed to hurt as much as I made them to
I'm afraid of even seeing myself as more than flesh I realize the disgust and raw fear that enforcing the torture upon own yourself brings
I'm afraid that I find the tortured flesh pathetic
And that flesh is me
