🌈🌹flower girl🌹🌈

just making sure you're alive-

hey, how are you?

Oof so this might a bit long
          
          So as I said before, I have been in the hospital and it's been about a week. They were able to fix up my lungs because I somehow had fluid building up(I didn't pay attention to how or why I had it), they are still treating me for the infection in this large gash I had that was stitched up (id rather not say why I had it, and I didn't know it was infected until I had a physical when I realized my lungs got hacked up again).  And to top it off, because you know my body hates me and I hate it right back, the doctors found my newest cuts from when I selfharmed, which they wouldn't have found it I didn't have a physical, which I wouldn't have had it my damn lungs worked!! 
          
          Anywaysssss what I need to say is that the hospital has me in watch for another week because they found me self harming again especially since its worse now and I are a therapist every day while I'm there. But when I get home, the therapist will come to my house for a few hours to meet with me which I'm actually somewhat happy about because I had to stop due to Covid. So I can't really be on here much until I'm doing better, which I hope is soon. I have so much wrong with me that I want to fix, and if it wasn't for covid, it would be so much easier and better for me to get better. I can only see two people outside of my family(I know most don't see any outside of family) and it is really hard for me. Just know that I'm doing the best I can to get healthy, to stop cutting, to not hinder my eating, and to not hate myself anymore. I know there aren't a lot that'll see this, but this is for those that do and interact with me. I love you lots guys and I'll be back soon I hope❤ :(((

Guess who got themselves stuck in a hospital again?? Not only do my lungs still suck, but others (my parents and doctors) found out I was harming myself again, that my cuts/stitches (not from self harm) were infected, aND now I'm not let out of the hospital for about two weeks bc I'm on watch then my mom isn't going to let me out of her sight once I am wphome. whoopie :(

Who am I on you list? 
          Send this to all your friends including me and see how many you get back!! 
          1. The one that makes me happy whenever I’m sad 
          2. The one I wish I was dating 
          3. The one that broke my heart without even knowing 
          4. Chief broadcaster of rubbish 
          5. The one I have a crush on 
          6. The one with the most annoying dp’s and updates 
          7. The one I wish I knew more 
          8. The one I love 
          9. The funny one 
          10. The one I fantasize about 
          11. The one I should’ve deleted a long time ago but can’t 
          12. The one who never replied or says hi 
          13. The one who’s dp’s and updates I look forward to
          14. The one I haven’t met yet but feel like I have 
          15. The one who’ll never catch my attention
          16. The one whose trouble I look for all the time 
          17. The drink one cuz u always posting with drinks
          18 the glutton cuz it’s only played of food you use as your dp 
          19. The one that claims to be what they aren’t 
          20. Don’t even know where to play u 
          21. The one who’ll always end the chat with brb 
          22. The one who’ll always say hi then disappear 
          23. The one who never rests 
          24. The one I love but can’t date
          25. The one with bit stuff I can’t take 
          26. The one I want dead 
          27 the one I want to marry 
          28 the trouble maker 
          29 the annoying one 
          30 the one I want to have a one night stand with 
          31 my best friend 
          32 my fashionista 
          33 the mysterious one 
          34 the chief of trouble 
          35 my fantasy 
          
          Aaaand ILY

Me deciding to be irresponsible:
          
          So,,,although it's obv a pandemic, I'm constantly at my best friend's house. This time tho we decided it would be a grEAT idea to be drinking bc her parents wouldn't be home for the weekend. Turns out- it's a bad idea. I end up calling my ex/ex bff since he's been back home for a few weeks (initially trying to reconcile our relationship, but ended up having to stay), he comes over, I cry with him(a LOT), we make out, and end up sleeping together (next to each other, geez y'all are dirty XD ). Now, having slept for about 12 hours with someone who I love, but haven't been ready to forgive yet, I have woken up and he's still asleep.
          
          What do I do?? heLP pls

Heyyyyy

Damn my bio is depressing. Time for a change!!

2020 is about to end! ✨✨ 
          Post this on people’s pages who made 2020 special. ❤️❤️❤️
          love you~

Thank you for voting, you mean so much to me like for real