-infinitives
everyone wants an older brother because 'omg he'll look out for you' well one time i had a guy over and i needed the netflix verification code so i texted my brother to which he facetimed me to which i switched to normal call and so he figured out i was on a date so instead of giving me the code like a normal person he dolled out each digit one by one to be like 'the first number is le bron's jersey number in 2017' and it genuinely took 15 minutes and he was on speaker and my date was right next to me the whole time.
safe to say i am not dating that guy