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So awhile back I was trying to work on a personality for one of my characters that I've been planning to redesign and just sat at my desk for an hour struggling to think of one I was satisfied with
          	A few minutes ago I was just chilling and thought of at least the base of a personality that I'm satisfied with for this character IN THE SPAN OF 2 MINUTES LMAO

-oreo_fluff-

So awhile back I was trying to work on a personality for one of my characters that I've been planning to redesign and just sat at my desk for an hour struggling to think of one I was satisfied with
          A few minutes ago I was just chilling and thought of at least the base of a personality that I'm satisfied with for this character IN THE SPAN OF 2 MINUTES LMAO

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this message may be offensive 
Vent warning
          
          When I logged on just now, it really hit me. There isn't anything left for me here. Sure, there's my one friend who's active on here and frequently updates her stories, but I can also talk to her and see her stuff on Instagram and discord. However, back in 2018, I had friends who were EXCLUSIVELY on wattpad and had no other social medias. I also had the randomness books that were, let's be honest, really really INSANELY cringy. Bad jokes and problematic headcannons everywhere (btw if you're reading this rn and were around during that time, I'm so sorry-). However, despite how terribly written that book series was, I had fun with it. I would just write whatever I wanted and sooner or later my friends would comment on it and we would just joke around in the comments. They also had randomness books on their profiles and I would joke around with them there as well.
          
          Eventually, in 2019 (I think?), everything died down. I was finally running out of ideas for my current randomness book (book 3 I believe) and just kept posting repetitive stuff like my headcannon characters re-enacting vines by text. It really hurt if I'm being honest. Sure, it was a REALLY dumb book, but again it was a book I had fun with. I didn't have to think too hard about anything, I just wrote the first dumb thing that came to my mind. Nowadays, I can barely write anymore. I either have a HUGE lack of creativity to the point where I can't come up with good story ideas, or I'm never satisfied with my ideas and think they're all garbage. It doesn't help that I wanna give all the OCs I posted an actual story with Briarsville. I just can't come up with ANYTHING story-wise and I hate it. There's also the fact that I want to help with episode ideas (and just ideas in general) for OFUG but, you know. The ironic thing is that I actually REALLY like writing. I can't explain it, but regardless of my heavily decreasing imagination, I still want to write.
          
          The worst part (continued in comments)

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@DearTimAndMoby Well, at least I'm not alone in this. To be honest, the same thing happened with me in 2017 with these friends on amino. Coincidently, I also grew apart with the ones remaining in 2019. That was uh, not the year for me lmao
            
            Thank you for your words though
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DearTimAndMoby

this message may be offensive 
Aw,,I’m really sorry that sort of thing happened between you, and your friends. It’s just an unfortunate thing that seems to happen kinda often where you grow apart.
            
            I feel like I had shit ton friends, and action back in 2017 but after that, I’ve just kinda been on my own because most of them went quiet, or I wouldn’t push myself to talk to them again. I understand how something like this could make you unhappy, and that maybe you could quit, and really, you could do what you want.
            
            All I know, is that Imma keep writing and posting weird ass crap, and not giving a fuck about whether or not anyone reads it lmao
            
            But you do you. You feel what you feel. And really, I hope you have a good day and/or night as well.
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-oreo_fluff-

during the year of 2019 though, was that all of my friends were going inactive. One of them started a discord server and everyone, including me, joined. Eventually they started getting less and less active on wattpad until all of their accounts were basically disbanded (or they're heavily inactive). I was going to stay in the first friend's server since the others were there as well, but the server eventually had a lot of people in there. And by a lot I'm talking either HUNDREDS or THOUSANDS of people. I tried to stay and be at least little active, but my social anxiety went off every time I went into the server, which lead to me leaving. Sure, I could have talked to them outside of the server, and actually did talk to one friend in dms for awhile, but as my lack of creativity grew, so did my shitty social skills. Eventually, I had no idea what to even say which lead to the dms dying down and me finally growing apart from my friends (one of them has Autism though, so I think it was 100% my fault for that dm dying. I apologize if I'm misunderstanding something). I still have the server owner in my friends list and we did talk a few times during this year, but it still feels like we've grown apart as friends. I never even know what to say to start the conversation.
            
            As of now, writing my OC book seems a little pointless since no one really interacts with it. I do still wanna keep it up though in case I ever want to actually TRY to roleplay again. Although with my dull imagination, and the fact that I always ALWAYS second guess my lines, I'm not entirely sure that'll happen anytime soon.
            
            All in all, it's kinda sad, to me, that I could just leave wattpad and it wouldn't be a big deal, when it would have been 3 years ago. Thank you for reading, have a good night/day.
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