<3

“You are the dancing queen
          Young and sweet
          Only seventeen”
          
          That’s right loves, today was my 17th birthday <3

Merry Christmas my loves <3

Happy turkey day 

Hello darlings!
          
          I'm finally back! [for right now]. How has everyone been? How has everyone's summer been going? 
          
          I will say my crush has graduated high school. Which I'm sad about but I have seen him a couple of times. He was one of my motivation to go to school. Like I saw him on Friday [7.29] and I was on call with my mom talking about him, I then saw him drive by me going the opposite direction, everything goes quiet and I scream in excitement. I gave my mom a heart attack and then told her I saw him, and I quickly turned around and tried to find him. But when he drove by he looked right at me, was smiling and yeah.
          
          I broke my nose playing softball in the first week of June, and the following day I went and played with my team again. 
          
          I got to have a clinic with the Blue Stars DCI. Which was quite amazing! I finished my marching band camp last week, and I start school this week.
          
          I went to Hungry Hobo today and this fine man took my order. Like this man was finee. He kept making direct eye contact, kept smiling at me, and he kept looking at my chest [i was wearing a tank top]. But like we even touched hands a couple of times. He was about 6'2 - 6'4, blonde hair, blue eyes, had veinssss, and looks like he could handle my daddy issues [lmao]. Like he looked like a Chase Atlantic or a 1nonly song. That's how fine he was. And when I was walking out this older lady gave me this smile like she knew what him and I were doing-
          
          But yeah!
          
          I love you <3
          
          

It has been a month since my grandpa has passed. I will say it does not feel like a month. It's hard to comprehend that he is gone, everyday my brother and I walk through the door, coming back home from school the house is quiet, and I always look at his chair expecting to see him, yet I don't. I know he's around though, whether that be feeling a cold spot on my hands, legs, arms, or shoulders; or seeing an outline/shadow in my peripheral vison; or him scaring us with dropping something and we go check and nothings dropped or something has; or him making the lights flicker letting us know he's with us; or finding pennies in the house from where he has been; or him stealing chocolates from us; or when my brother and I walk through the yard coming home from the bus stop and seeing at least one cardinal or a dozen sitting in his tree. I know he comes and visits us, and when he's not, he is watching over my family up in Heaven. 
          
          It just doesn't feel real. My brain still hasn't let me accept he is actually gone. It feels like he's back in a nursing home (we've been in and out) and I'm expecting him to come back. 
          
          I will say though, I do talk to him through my prayers to God. I always tell God to give my message to my grandpa, and my grandpa does get them. I have gotten signs that my grandpa has gotten my messages and I always feel emotional on the inside when I see the signs.
          
          I just want my grandpa back, but I know he's in a better place. I know he's watching over my family. I know he comes to visit us. I know he misses us. I know he loves us. 

Hi everyone. So yesterday was my 16th birthday, I spent it with my family. But today at 8 in the morning my grandfather passed away. The best birthday gift I got was him being alive to see me turn 16. He is no longer suffering and is up in Heaven with his parents, brothers, and sisters. I'll be taking a break for awhile. Thank you for understanding. 

I don't usually post stuff like this, but I just ask if you can keep my family and my grandfather in your prayers. As my grandfather is on the brink of death with battling covid. Thank you.

So I go back to school tomorrow, which I'm quite excited about. Being cooped up in this house gets quite boring. 
          But the thing is, I can't take my bookbag around mu classes because some stupid idiot decided to bring a gun inside my school and now we're not aloud to bring them with us to our classes. 
          And my brother got covid (from me) along with my mother (also from me) and now I won't have my brother with me. But at least one of my best friends is going to be excited to see me tomorrow! And I'll be able to see my crush<3

So guess who has tested positive for covid? 
          
          Me.
          
          Anyways I've been home this whole week, and I've been pestering my brother for updates of my crush. 

Happy Birthday to Betty White!
          
          I just know up in Heaven she is enjoying some cheesecake with her girls <3